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This might be a repeat, but I thought this article was good food for thought.
http://surefoodsliving.com/2011/06/the- ... uten-free/
I struggle with embarrassment the most. I'm afraid people will see me as picky or high-maintenance. I'm not so concerned about the waitstaff but rather the people I am with.
How about you all?
Gabby
Emotions of dining out GF
Moderators: Rosie, Stanz, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh
I have only been gluten free for a little over 6 months and I have struggled with most of these. Once I find a place that has GF menu, even then I worry if they really are GF. I have eaten food that I was told was GF and then paid later.
Most of my anxiety comes from traveling, I have been in places that is seemed almost impossible to find something safe to eat. I have become pretty good at identifying safe places to eat and now carry a book that list restaurants that have GF menus.
Sometimes I look around at others and wish I could just dig in and eat whatever sounds good from the menu, but I always remember how sick it could make me. I do prefer to eat at home because I know what I am eating is safe, but it would be nice to just pick whatever I wanted from the menu and not worry. Desert is my downfall, I love deserts and for the most part, its very difficult to find safe deserts. Usually I have to pass.
Its an adjustment and something I am still learning to live with but I am getting there. Basically I like feeling well more than I like the food. The consequences are not worth the risk, so when in doubt I pass on certain things. The good thing is that many restaurants are now expanding their menus to include gluten free food. Even my local burger joint knows me and accommodates my request for no bun.
Blessings,
Randy
Most of my anxiety comes from traveling, I have been in places that is seemed almost impossible to find something safe to eat. I have become pretty good at identifying safe places to eat and now carry a book that list restaurants that have GF menus.
Sometimes I look around at others and wish I could just dig in and eat whatever sounds good from the menu, but I always remember how sick it could make me. I do prefer to eat at home because I know what I am eating is safe, but it would be nice to just pick whatever I wanted from the menu and not worry. Desert is my downfall, I love deserts and for the most part, its very difficult to find safe deserts. Usually I have to pass.
Its an adjustment and something I am still learning to live with but I am getting there. Basically I like feeling well more than I like the food. The consequences are not worth the risk, so when in doubt I pass on certain things. The good thing is that many restaurants are now expanding their menus to include gluten free food. Even my local burger joint knows me and accommodates my request for no bun.
Blessings,
Randy
Randy,
You have a very sensible, healthy attitude about eating out. IMHO, it's always a risk, and it's better to be safe than sorry. But we do have spouses or a social life, and sometimes it's unavoidable.
Those who can eat fruit can find some satisfaction in eating it for dessert. Like you, I don't even entertain the thought of having dessert out. I usually bring a homemade pudding cup or a muffin when I want something with a little sweetness.
Gloria
You have a very sensible, healthy attitude about eating out. IMHO, it's always a risk, and it's better to be safe than sorry. But we do have spouses or a social life, and sometimes it's unavoidable.
Randy wrote:I love deserts and for the most part, its very difficult to find safe deserts. Usually I have to pass.
Those who can eat fruit can find some satisfaction in eating it for dessert. Like you, I don't even entertain the thought of having dessert out. I usually bring a homemade pudding cup or a muffin when I want something with a little sweetness.
Gloria
You never know what you can do until you have to do it.
I eat out as little as possible, (I eat ahead of time, whenever I can, or afterward), and if I do eat out, I keep it as simple as possible, to try to keep from getting into trouble.
As someone else pointed out a few days ago, one of the advantages of getting older is that we don't particularly care what others think about our eating behavior.
Desert? What's that?
Tex
As someone else pointed out a few days ago, one of the advantages of getting older is that we don't particularly care what others think about our eating behavior.
Desert? What's that?
Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
Steak, potatoes, assorted vegetables, eggs.... yes, simple works. I find myself eating breakfast for dinner many times on the road. I have found this to be the simplest and safest way to eat if no other "known safe" options are available.
"It's not what I believe. It's what I can prove." - A Few Good Men
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MBombardier
- Rockhopper Penguin
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- Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:44 am
- Location: Vancouver, WA
My 16yo and 13yo girls and I are going on a three-week trip to the Midwest starting Wednesday. For the most part, we will be staying with family or friends. I told the girls we are taking a suitcase of food so that we have something we know we can eat. They are GF (mainly b/c they each have a gene from me) and I am GF, SF, CF, RF. I am soooo thankful that I don't have to do DF. My protein intake would really suffer.
I have the same problem about wondering if people think I am "high maintenance" or a hypochondriac. My 16yo feels the same way, I think--she asked if we were really going to take a whole suitcase of food. Well, probably not, but we will have things with us that we know we can eat. My goal is to not be a burden on the people we are visiting. We all know how intimidating the thought of cooking GF can be to someone who has never thought about it before. Then you add my additional intolerances...
My brother and his wife aren't even going to try to cook for us. We already know that we will be eating breakfast in the hotel and going out for the other meals. And that's perfectly fine. My daughter-in-law (whose family is GF, so cooking GF is like falling off a log) considers cooking for me a challenge that she is tackling enthusiastically. And that's wonderful.
Two ends of the spectrum, and we're good with both!
I have the same problem about wondering if people think I am "high maintenance" or a hypochondriac. My 16yo feels the same way, I think--she asked if we were really going to take a whole suitcase of food. Well, probably not, but we will have things with us that we know we can eat. My goal is to not be a burden on the people we are visiting. We all know how intimidating the thought of cooking GF can be to someone who has never thought about it before. Then you add my additional intolerances...
My brother and his wife aren't even going to try to cook for us. We already know that we will be eating breakfast in the hotel and going out for the other meals. And that's perfectly fine. My daughter-in-law (whose family is GF, so cooking GF is like falling off a log) considers cooking for me a challenge that she is tackling enthusiastically. And that's wonderful.
Two ends of the spectrum, and we're good with both!Marliss Bombardier
Dum spiro, spero -- While I breathe, I hope
Psoriasis - the dark ages
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis - Dec 2001
Collagenous Colitis - Sept 2010
Granuloma Annulare - June 2011
Dum spiro, spero -- While I breathe, I hope
Psoriasis - the dark ages
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis - Dec 2001
Collagenous Colitis - Sept 2010
Granuloma Annulare - June 2011
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Joefnh
- Rockhopper Penguin
- Posts: 2478
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:25 pm
- Location: Southern New Hampshire
Hi Gabby, it can be embarrassing to eat out at times. I have gotten to the point of just letting my friends that I cannot tolerate a lot of the foods on the menu and have to be very careful, as if I eat the wrong things it can be like getting the flu. I use the word flu as most can understand that and when at the table I don't want to talk about D. Frankly for many of us besides the D we can get flu like symptoms, aches pain fatigue etc...
Like Randy and Rich I have adopted eating the simple plain foods, steamed shellfish is always safe if you like it or a simple grilled chicken, fish or steak with no sauces or spices added. You can always add salt on it at the table. Steamed veggies are usually a good bet as well.
You should have seen the poor waiter and chef when Zizzle and I met up for lunch in DC... I think we drive them crazy... But the staff there was very helpful and the food was delicious.
Joe
Like Randy and Rich I have adopted eating the simple plain foods, steamed shellfish is always safe if you like it or a simple grilled chicken, fish or steak with no sauces or spices added. You can always add salt on it at the table. Steamed veggies are usually a good bet as well.
You should have seen the poor waiter and chef when Zizzle and I met up for lunch in DC... I think we drive them crazy... But the staff there was very helpful and the food was delicious.
Joe
Joe
We do continue to eat out - I am amazed at the growing awareness. But it is still a risk. In a way, it's easier to negotiate a helpful restaurant than well-meaning friends, who can hardly expected to turn their kitchens into a haz-mat zone just to prepare a single meal.
I agree - keep it simple. We've always socialized with folks with lots of sharing and tasting. I so don't want people to skip the food they'd genuinely prefer, but we have found ways to share at least a couple of things. Last night, there was a watermelon/cucumber salad with queso fresco - we ordered one without cheese, and one with. I also had the guacamole - my friend reminded me to scoop some out onto my plate before others started dipping.
I have found many of these suggestions helpful - a plainish protein, simple veg. I also am super-pleasant when communicating, which is sometimes an effort. I recently ordered a lamb-burger without the cheese, and could *see* white on top of my burger. The busboy confirmed that they had put the cheese on, then remembered to remove it (thankfully they hadn't concealed all traces - I'd still be sick, mostly likely). I had had a super-clear communication with the waitress, so they knew it wasn't a matter of preference on my part. So I had a pleasant but considerably firmer super-clear chat with her thereafter. (They offered to take it back into the kitchen and make me a new one, but by then I didn't trust the kitchen enough to go there.)
It's definitely a work in progress. If I ever have a downturn in symptoms, I'll be insisting that folks come hang out here, where the kitchen is reliably GF/DF/*F!
Here's another glitch I hadn't thought of - my mother-in-law tore off a hunk of crusty French bread, and crumbs flew. It gave me pause, but not alarm... till I *saw* crumbs floating in my water glass. I traded glasses with my husband (my MIL might have thought I was nuts, but didn't seem to - she had just said, "you can eat this bread, right?" - so maybe I'm not quite as lucid a communicator as I imagine).
My current explanation to friends is that my body responds to "a little bit" of gluten the way any of us might respond to "a little bit" of cholera. This is esp. helpful when people tell me about their lactose-intolerant friend who can eat yogurt - a little bit of lactose might be tolerated by those who can't eat a lot; there is no amount of *casein* I am comfortable ingesting.
Wishing you all well, and good eating!
Sara
I agree - keep it simple. We've always socialized with folks with lots of sharing and tasting. I so don't want people to skip the food they'd genuinely prefer, but we have found ways to share at least a couple of things. Last night, there was a watermelon/cucumber salad with queso fresco - we ordered one without cheese, and one with. I also had the guacamole - my friend reminded me to scoop some out onto my plate before others started dipping.
I have found many of these suggestions helpful - a plainish protein, simple veg. I also am super-pleasant when communicating, which is sometimes an effort. I recently ordered a lamb-burger without the cheese, and could *see* white on top of my burger. The busboy confirmed that they had put the cheese on, then remembered to remove it (thankfully they hadn't concealed all traces - I'd still be sick, mostly likely). I had had a super-clear communication with the waitress, so they knew it wasn't a matter of preference on my part. So I had a pleasant but considerably firmer super-clear chat with her thereafter. (They offered to take it back into the kitchen and make me a new one, but by then I didn't trust the kitchen enough to go there.)
It's definitely a work in progress. If I ever have a downturn in symptoms, I'll be insisting that folks come hang out here, where the kitchen is reliably GF/DF/*F!
Here's another glitch I hadn't thought of - my mother-in-law tore off a hunk of crusty French bread, and crumbs flew. It gave me pause, but not alarm... till I *saw* crumbs floating in my water glass. I traded glasses with my husband (my MIL might have thought I was nuts, but didn't seem to - she had just said, "you can eat this bread, right?" - so maybe I'm not quite as lucid a communicator as I imagine).
My current explanation to friends is that my body responds to "a little bit" of gluten the way any of us might respond to "a little bit" of cholera. This is esp. helpful when people tell me about their lactose-intolerant friend who can eat yogurt - a little bit of lactose might be tolerated by those who can't eat a lot; there is no amount of *casein* I am comfortable ingesting.
Wishing you all well, and good eating!
Sara
We ate at Outback this evening with our son and DIL. I was really impressed--they even have a printed gluten-free menu! I told the waitress that I needed DF and SF as well, and she said she noted that on the ticket, and also told the chef in person. I had steak, plain baked potato, and plain veggies. Too early to tell yet, but I am hoping for no problems.
For me, it's harder to eat at people's houses, when they try really hard to get it right, and I still ask questions about ingredients. Then I do feel like I seem high-maintenance. But I'm not ready to risk any problems, so I'd rather be hard to feed than sick.
Martha
For me, it's harder to eat at people's houses, when they try really hard to get it right, and I still ask questions about ingredients. Then I do feel like I seem high-maintenance. But I'm not ready to risk any problems, so I'd rather be hard to feed than sick.
Martha
Martha
Martha,
That's exactly how I see it. I don't mind skipping something someone has lovingly prepared (or brought here) if I'm not a thousand times convinced. I am very sweet about it, but don't make it seem like some neurotic quirk of mine - sometimes I'll say "let's not read the labels on those ingredients - there are sooo many other things I *can* eat." Over time, the friends worth socializing with will move on from the stressful topic of what I can't eat. Meantime... right on, I also would rather be hungry and 'hard to feed' than sick.
I actually eat all kinds of things now that I didn't eat before - mostly more meats (sigh... my veg days are over). It's just those couple of biggie categories (grains/dairy), and getting past the lactose vs. casein question, and the notion that 'a teensy bit is not OK.' I am mindful about not having seconds in situations where we're dipping or spooning or scooping with implements that might have touched an unsafe food. My very favorite dining companions? They got the hang of that in our first meal together! I think you really find out who your friends are when the chips are down These folks also got that I was trying not to be a pain-in-the-neck guest, so actually under-fussed about it in advance the first time we ate there - and they were disappointed that they hadn't known more detail. I now think I can eat there without worry - they'll review my food issues next time, I'm sure, and they will work around them the way we all work around "what fun ingredients are in season" or a vegetarian or vegan guest (plenty of both in Brooklyn) - but in the spirit of a true allergy - meaning NO KIDDING.
I'm putting Outback on my list - there are 2 near my brother-in-law & family (and my MIL is in the same area). It would be a great venue for our next, and no stress for my Paleo-curious SIL, with 4 kids 5-13yo. There's also one near my FIL, but typically we are involved in a frenzy of home-cooking - his partner is Iranian and an amazing cook, and though there are things I could eat out of the wonderfulness we gorged on, during our last visit.... that will be a big adjustment for all of us. (But not as big as having a grandbaby move overseas - my parents never let my brother feel how that was one great ache of their lives, and were able to visit several times - but that was a longer term, maybe forever move.)
BTW, on that original link, she has good suggestions for eating out in another article. (It prompted me to write a thank-you email to the restaurant where we ate last night.)
Marliss, sounds like both ends of that spectrum will work out great - have a wonderful trip, and please keep us posted!
Love,
Sara
That's exactly how I see it. I don't mind skipping something someone has lovingly prepared (or brought here) if I'm not a thousand times convinced. I am very sweet about it, but don't make it seem like some neurotic quirk of mine - sometimes I'll say "let's not read the labels on those ingredients - there are sooo many other things I *can* eat." Over time, the friends worth socializing with will move on from the stressful topic of what I can't eat. Meantime... right on, I also would rather be hungry and 'hard to feed' than sick.
I actually eat all kinds of things now that I didn't eat before - mostly more meats (sigh... my veg days are over). It's just those couple of biggie categories (grains/dairy), and getting past the lactose vs. casein question, and the notion that 'a teensy bit is not OK.' I am mindful about not having seconds in situations where we're dipping or spooning or scooping with implements that might have touched an unsafe food. My very favorite dining companions? They got the hang of that in our first meal together! I think you really find out who your friends are when the chips are down
These folks also got that I was trying not to be a pain-in-the-neck guest, so actually under-fussed about it in advance the first time we ate there - and they were disappointed that they hadn't known more detail. I now think I can eat there without worry - they'll review my food issues next time, I'm sure, and they will work around them the way we all work around "what fun ingredients are in season" or a vegetarian or vegan guest (plenty of both in Brooklyn) - but in the spirit of a true allergy - meaning NO KIDDING. I'm putting Outback on my list - there are 2 near my brother-in-law & family (and my MIL is in the same area). It would be a great venue for our next, and no stress for my Paleo-curious SIL, with 4 kids 5-13yo. There's also one near my FIL, but typically we are involved in a frenzy of home-cooking - his partner is Iranian and an amazing cook, and though there are things I could eat out of the wonderfulness we gorged on, during our last visit.... that will be a big adjustment for all of us. (But not as big as having a grandbaby move overseas - my parents never let my brother feel how that was one great ache of their lives, and were able to visit several times - but that was a longer term, maybe forever move.)
BTW, on that original link, she has good suggestions for eating out in another article. (It prompted me to write a thank-you email to the restaurant where we ate last night.)
Marliss, sounds like both ends of that spectrum will work out great - have a wonderful trip, and please keep us posted!
Love,
Sara
This last weekend, went to a restaurant in NH that claimed to have GF pasta. The description was, " whole grain, buckwheat, " something or another. My SIL, bless her, says to the server, "How can whole grain, buckwheat anything be GF?" The menu also said, basically, BTW, we use all the same appliances to make pasta as we do to make our GF pasta. That being said, I was able to modify something and have a wonderful meal--I am not nearly as sensitive as others on the site.
Suze
Like many of you one of our favorite things to do, pre MC, was eat out. Since the diagnosis I have been very cautious about eating out. We have a local seafood restaurant that has a gluten free menu and I can always get something to eat there. The down side of eating there is DH continues to eat the wonderful sourdough bread and sometimes I have a bit of a pitty party about not being able to eat it, but as many of you have pointed out it's not worth eating if it makes you feel bad. There's a Mexican restaurant that doesn't have a GF menu but I've figured out what I can eat there and have not had any problems. PF Changs has a GF menu and they do a wonderful job. At new places I tend to keep it simple with a salad and seafood and I work to keep it safe. DH fusses that I'm not much fun anymore, but I know my limits.
Last week I had a conference in DC and was concerned about meals at the conf and if I'd be able to eat anything. Before we left I found a Whole Foods store near the hotel and made plans to head there to get some things I could keep in the room in case I couldn't get anything at the conf. Once we got to the hotel and explored the area (National Harbor) we found a small grocery and I was able to pick up some fruit, peanut butter, cheese and greek yogurt. (So far those diary items seem to be tolerated well.) That gave me enough breakfast foods and options that I was able to survive. I had told our conf organizers in advance of my GF food needs and was told to tell my server what I needed at each meal and they would have options for me. The conf was at the Gaylord Hotel and the staff there did an excellent job of meeting my needs. I did feel a bit high maintenance but followed a hint I had read on this board of preparing a card to give the waitstaff explaining my needs and I think that really helped. Each time my meal was brought out my table mates said they would rather have what I was having. Kitchen staff even came to my table to confirm what they had prepared was safe for me to eat. The only meal problem that occurred was with a breakfast buffet where I got scrambled eggs with onions, peppers and cheese. Within an hour of eating that I was camping out in the bathroom. I decided either the eggs were powdered eggs and had gluten in them or the onions and peppers were cooked in too much oil and I reacted to that. Once that was out of my system all was okay. As I was eating I was wondering if it would be okay for me; should have followed my gut reaction.....before I had a gut reaction!
While in DC we ate at Legal Seafood and they have a wonderful GF menu. They even surprised me with GF bread to eat while DH was enjoying his sourdough rolls! Awesome. The manager brought my meal to the table and assured me everything had been prepared to ensure it was as safe as possible. And if you ever eat there you have to get the GF sugar free chocolate mousse! It was to die for! I have avoided sweets for the last couple of years, but since MC I've eased up on that a bit. I absolutely enjoyed every bite and told the staff it had to have sugar in it but they assured me it didn't. Probably just butter, cocoa and cream.....and 1000 calories per bite! We also ate at Ebbit's Grill in DC and while they didn't have a GF menu, they were able to tell me what they could prepare to make GF. A kitchen manager even came out and told me the roasted potatoes I had chosen were seasoned with a mix containing gluten and offered GF options.
One unfortunate event occurred: we went to the Capitol building and during security screening they required me to dump some bars I had in my purse. It pained me to have to throw away perfectly good Lara bars and two other GF bars I found in the airport in Detroit and had not had a chance to try. Oh well, since that was the worst thing that happened and I was able to find the same bars in the Atlanta airport, I've really got nothing to complain about.
Learning to speak up for my needs has not been that easy for me, but I have learned a lot from others on this board, that it's okay for me to do so to protect my health. And as others have pointed out, a pleasant, firm attitude with a smile goes a long way towards getting the waitstaff and kitchen staff on your side.
Last week I had a conference in DC and was concerned about meals at the conf and if I'd be able to eat anything. Before we left I found a Whole Foods store near the hotel and made plans to head there to get some things I could keep in the room in case I couldn't get anything at the conf. Once we got to the hotel and explored the area (National Harbor) we found a small grocery and I was able to pick up some fruit, peanut butter, cheese and greek yogurt. (So far those diary items seem to be tolerated well.) That gave me enough breakfast foods and options that I was able to survive. I had told our conf organizers in advance of my GF food needs and was told to tell my server what I needed at each meal and they would have options for me. The conf was at the Gaylord Hotel and the staff there did an excellent job of meeting my needs. I did feel a bit high maintenance but followed a hint I had read on this board of preparing a card to give the waitstaff explaining my needs and I think that really helped. Each time my meal was brought out my table mates said they would rather have what I was having. Kitchen staff even came to my table to confirm what they had prepared was safe for me to eat. The only meal problem that occurred was with a breakfast buffet where I got scrambled eggs with onions, peppers and cheese. Within an hour of eating that I was camping out in the bathroom. I decided either the eggs were powdered eggs and had gluten in them or the onions and peppers were cooked in too much oil and I reacted to that. Once that was out of my system all was okay. As I was eating I was wondering if it would be okay for me; should have followed my gut reaction.....before I had a gut reaction!
While in DC we ate at Legal Seafood and they have a wonderful GF menu. They even surprised me with GF bread to eat while DH was enjoying his sourdough rolls! Awesome. The manager brought my meal to the table and assured me everything had been prepared to ensure it was as safe as possible. And if you ever eat there you have to get the GF sugar free chocolate mousse! It was to die for! I have avoided sweets for the last couple of years, but since MC I've eased up on that a bit. I absolutely enjoyed every bite and told the staff it had to have sugar in it but they assured me it didn't. Probably just butter, cocoa and cream.....and 1000 calories per bite! We also ate at Ebbit's Grill in DC and while they didn't have a GF menu, they were able to tell me what they could prepare to make GF. A kitchen manager even came out and told me the roasted potatoes I had chosen were seasoned with a mix containing gluten and offered GF options.
One unfortunate event occurred: we went to the Capitol building and during security screening they required me to dump some bars I had in my purse. It pained me to have to throw away perfectly good Lara bars and two other GF bars I found in the airport in Detroit and had not had a chance to try. Oh well, since that was the worst thing that happened and I was able to find the same bars in the Atlanta airport, I've really got nothing to complain about.
Learning to speak up for my needs has not been that easy for me, but I have learned a lot from others on this board, that it's okay for me to do so to protect my health. And as others have pointed out, a pleasant, firm attitude with a smile goes a long way towards getting the waitstaff and kitchen staff on your side.
Katie,
Thanks for the tip on Legal Seafood - that sounds like a great place to eat.
You might be right about the scrambled eggs. I remember that when I was in the hospital, the dietitian told me that I couldn't have eggs for breakfast, because the only eggs that they had were provided by food service, (powdered).
Tex
Thanks for the tip on Legal Seafood - that sounds like a great place to eat.
You might be right about the scrambled eggs. I remember that when I was in the hospital, the dietitian told me that I couldn't have eggs for breakfast, because the only eggs that they had were provided by food service, (powdered).
Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.