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Does an employee have any expectation of privacy regarding who knows in the office about his/her disease? i.e. If your boss knows is their any expectation of confidentiality? I'm in somewhat of a troubling (to me at least) job situation in which pretty much all of executive row knows about my disease and random people talk to me about it.
Thank you for your feedback. Brandy.
Job issues--any expectation of privacy about your disease
Moderators: Rosie, Stanz, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh
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Gabes-Apg
- Emperor Penguin
- Posts: 8367
- Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:12 pm
- Location: Hunter Valley NSW Australia
Brandy
i have chosen to be quite transparent about my condition both in the previous job I held (when i was Dx'd with MC) and my new role when i moved towns in January this year.
as my MC management plan is mostly diet/eating plan based, i make it clear to my supervisers that I can do some travel, so long as i have 24 - 48 hours notice to organise my meals etc.
In australia there are rules about absentism and providing doctors certificates for absences. Due to GP shortages, 9 times out of 10 on the days i am not well, there are no appointments available so it is near impossible for me to provide med certs for all my absences. Based on the transparancy regarding my condition I have an agreement with my employer that i dont have to provide the med certs for every absence.
for me I have found it easier to be transparent about the condition and some of the limitations it has. I am not uncomfortable about having to duck out of meetings should i need a toilet stop, or about bringing my own food to catered meetings.
My employer has been very supportive and i have set ups on my home computer that allow me to work from home should i need to (which I did when i recently had oral surgery)
and the admin staff always offer to try and get 'gabe safe' foods for catered meetings and Staff BBQ's
i have chosen to be quite transparent about my condition both in the previous job I held (when i was Dx'd with MC) and my new role when i moved towns in January this year.
as my MC management plan is mostly diet/eating plan based, i make it clear to my supervisers that I can do some travel, so long as i have 24 - 48 hours notice to organise my meals etc.
In australia there are rules about absentism and providing doctors certificates for absences. Due to GP shortages, 9 times out of 10 on the days i am not well, there are no appointments available so it is near impossible for me to provide med certs for all my absences. Based on the transparancy regarding my condition I have an agreement with my employer that i dont have to provide the med certs for every absence.
for me I have found it easier to be transparent about the condition and some of the limitations it has. I am not uncomfortable about having to duck out of meetings should i need a toilet stop, or about bringing my own food to catered meetings.
My employer has been very supportive and i have set ups on my home computer that allow me to work from home should i need to (which I did when i recently had oral surgery)
and the admin staff always offer to try and get 'gabe safe' foods for catered meetings and Staff BBQ's
Gabes Ryan
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama
Brandy,
I don't know the legal or HR issues about this (though it seems to me you are entitled to some privacy). On one level, I agree with Gabes, and I love transparency... and I also don't always feel like talking about my symptoms, health, etc. I believe you can develop some gracious comments that stifle inquiry without insulting the questioner, while pursuing your understanding of how to protect your privacy.
I do not believe you owe a lengthy conversation to random people. I might start with - oh, do you have these sorts of issues, too? I wouldn't mind talking about this, but let's find another, non-work situation/time, OK? But I could escalate to a more off-putting line of chat, if necessary. If someone is reaching out, maybe you can be helpful. And if you don't care to spend your work time as an expert on GI symptoms - who can blame you!
In my opinion, many more people than we realize are suffering MC-like symptoms, and might welcome the chance to discover that there's a name, and some hope - so if you can, try to interpret what feels intrusive in this sympathetic light. However, you are not obligated to spend your lunch hour on this, with someone you don't feel like sharing with.
Years ago, someone I worked with was on a walking tour with someone who could have absolutely no wheat or dairy. When asked what would happen if she inadvertently ate those things, she said... "you don't want to know." When I heard that story, I had no idea that would turn out to be me! But I keep that sentence in reserve.
I hope someone can advise you better about a way to stem the tide of unwelcome inquiry. As I said, openness and transparency are wonderful goals, but if the executive team is sharing your medical story with people you don't know, that seems a little careless, even though probably without ill intent.
I don't know the legal or HR issues about this (though it seems to me you are entitled to some privacy). On one level, I agree with Gabes, and I love transparency... and I also don't always feel like talking about my symptoms, health, etc. I believe you can develop some gracious comments that stifle inquiry without insulting the questioner, while pursuing your understanding of how to protect your privacy.
I do not believe you owe a lengthy conversation to random people. I might start with - oh, do you have these sorts of issues, too? I wouldn't mind talking about this, but let's find another, non-work situation/time, OK? But I could escalate to a more off-putting line of chat, if necessary. If someone is reaching out, maybe you can be helpful. And if you don't care to spend your work time as an expert on GI symptoms - who can blame you!
In my opinion, many more people than we realize are suffering MC-like symptoms, and might welcome the chance to discover that there's a name, and some hope - so if you can, try to interpret what feels intrusive in this sympathetic light. However, you are not obligated to spend your lunch hour on this, with someone you don't feel like sharing with.
Years ago, someone I worked with was on a walking tour with someone who could have absolutely no wheat or dairy. When asked what would happen if she inadvertently ate those things, she said... "you don't want to know." When I heard that story, I had no idea that would turn out to be me! But I keep that sentence in reserve.
I hope someone can advise you better about a way to stem the tide of unwelcome inquiry. As I said, openness and transparency are wonderful goals, but if the executive team is sharing your medical story with people you don't know, that seems a little careless, even though probably without ill intent.
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draperygoddess
- Rockhopper Penguin
- Posts: 558
- Joined: Mon Aug 29, 2011 6:49 am
- Location: Tennessee
Last week I was at a monthly meeting with my prayer group and we were organizing request cards. I had filled out one for my family and mentioned the struggle I was having in getting a definitive diagnosis and determining what I could safely eat. One of the older ladies in our group saw my card and got all excited. "Do you have colitis, too?" she asked me. I think she was just elated to find someone else who understood her issues (she has UC and her doctor is giving her no advice beyond "Two swigs of pepto a day"). I was happy to talk with her about it in that setting, but I think I would have been uncomfortable if it had been, say, in the foyer after services! Most people ask questions because they are concerned and/or curious, and they don't realize it might not be something you want to discuss at work. (They probably don't realize the answers to their questions might be embarrassing for you!) I try to be a little vague and change the subject, especially when it involves sitting down to a meal with perfect strangers and being asked, "What, you don't like lasagna?" 
Cynthia
"Can we fix it? YES WE CAN!" -Bob the Builder
"Can we fix it? YES WE CAN!" -Bob the Builder
I also find always a bit complicated in any situation how open to be about it/how private to be about it. But since this disease comes with such a complicated diet, any visit or the possibility of dining out, needs an explanation. If I don't know people very well, I stick to explain about food sensitivities or allergies. But the other problem is, if I mention gluten here, they have no clue what I am talking about.
What I really get tired of and what still happens from time to time, people who question the need of my diet, sometimes not even in words but a look on their face or something like "I have soup, only with healthy things, you can't even eat that?" NO "but it is gluten, soy and milk free", sorry NO many veggies are a problem too.
I don't have a problem with my diet at all (generally spoken, of course I have my days), the environment sometimes seems to have more a problem with it, than I have. That can really irritate me. Or always having to explain why, I don't want something with the tea or coffee.
Sometimes I have the feeling I almost have to justify my diet.
What I really get tired of and what still happens from time to time, people who question the need of my diet, sometimes not even in words but a look on their face or something like "I have soup, only with healthy things, you can't even eat that?" NO "but it is gluten, soy and milk free", sorry NO many veggies are a problem too.
I don't have a problem with my diet at all (generally spoken, of course I have my days), the environment sometimes seems to have more a problem with it, than I have. That can really irritate me. Or always having to explain why, I don't want something with the tea or coffee.
Sometimes I have the feeling I almost have to justify my diet.
"As the sense of identity shifts from the imaginary person to your real being as presence awareness, the life of suffering dissolves like mist before the rising sun"
My workplace (10 people) knows I have a condition that makes me gluten and dairy intolerant. We don't discuss the details of the colitis, but they simply know if I eat the wrong things, I pay for it. It's forced them to provide safe options for group meals. I've only been absent due to MC symptoms once, and I blamed it on food poisoning, which it probably was.
Harma, I agree with you - I *never* feel I have to justify my food choices. (Never complain, never explain! - except that sometimes I like to complain.)
My feeling is, if I say "no, thank you!" - that is a complete sentence. When people tell me I can eat something I suspect I can't, I look at them expectantly, and wait for *them* to justify their opinion. Sometimes I'll move beyond "no, thank you" to "I'd rather not, thank you."
I think it's good to have a handful of polite versions of "no thanks" in our toolbox for a professional situation, and also for festivities like parties, where it's nice to have a break from symptoms and enjoy the fun - even if we're not enjoying the cake. Sometimes I've had to mentally rehearse, when someone has really taken me aback, so I have something to say in that situation (or to that person) if it comes up again.
Brandy, I hope the initial curiosity wears off and this issue resolves. Please keep us posted if you need further thoughts on how to handle it, or just if you want to complain about it to a sympathetic audience,
Sara
My feeling is, if I say "no, thank you!" - that is a complete sentence. When people tell me I can eat something I suspect I can't, I look at them expectantly, and wait for *them* to justify their opinion. Sometimes I'll move beyond "no, thank you" to "I'd rather not, thank you."
I think it's good to have a handful of polite versions of "no thanks" in our toolbox for a professional situation, and also for festivities like parties, where it's nice to have a break from symptoms and enjoy the fun - even if we're not enjoying the cake. Sometimes I've had to mentally rehearse, when someone has really taken me aback, so I have something to say in that situation (or to that person) if it comes up again.
Brandy, I hope the initial curiosity wears off and this issue resolves. Please keep us posted if you need further thoughts on how to handle it, or just if you want to complain about it to a sympathetic audience,
Sara
Hi Brandy,
The answer to your question is YES!!! They are called the HIPA laws. The HIPA laws are there to protect you!!!! You can and should notify your employer about your health issues in case of an emergency or you need to take a leave of abscense. However YOUR MEDICAL IS PRIVATE!!!!! Unless you went around the office discussing it, then NO one has the legal right to discuss it among them selves. Our medical records are private whether your in an office setting or any where else. They are not up for discussion unless you are the one discussing it! If I were you I would speak with your employer and tell him/her that you are intitled to your privacy about any health issues and you would appreciate it if it wasnt discussed with your fellow employees.
Best of health,
Robin
The answer to your question is YES!!! They are called the HIPA laws. The HIPA laws are there to protect you!!!! You can and should notify your employer about your health issues in case of an emergency or you need to take a leave of abscense. However YOUR MEDICAL IS PRIVATE!!!!! Unless you went around the office discussing it, then NO one has the legal right to discuss it among them selves. Our medical records are private whether your in an office setting or any where else. They are not up for discussion unless you are the one discussing it! If I were you I would speak with your employer and tell him/her that you are intitled to your privacy about any health issues and you would appreciate it if it wasnt discussed with your fellow employees.
Best of health,
Robin
I agree with all of you!
Yep, you have a right to privacy, and advising your bosses that you want them to respect that is fair and reasonable. It is a classic case of being polite but firm when you tell them.
They may be asking purely out of a genuine desire to be caring employers - heck, I ask after my staff when I know they have been unwell. In that case you might suggest you are managing it, and tell them how you would like it to be handled. Eg, you might say you would prefer not to discuss it except with your immediate boss or the HR person. Tell them that if you have to duck out of meetings or whatever, you would prefer they just ignored it.
In practice, I find people need to know that usually Lyn won't eat the provided food at functions etc. It just makes life easier (for me) if people learn about my eating limitations and leave it at that. I usually just say that " I have a digestive condition, and if I eat the wrong thing I will end up spending waaay too much time in the bathroom.' Most people don't want the details. Asking them to get me a glass of water or chamomile tea can help them feel they are 'catering' for me. The people I work with most question me if I DO eat something
Then there are those who really do want to talk about it. Mostly these people either have some issue themselves, or have a family member they are worried about. I am happy to be a local GI expert, and will quickly ask why they are interested and start handing out unasked for advice. If you feel comfortable doing this, then ask them if they have troubles too. If you don't feel comfortable, you can always say you would rather not chat about it, or not now.
Lyn
Yep, you have a right to privacy, and advising your bosses that you want them to respect that is fair and reasonable. It is a classic case of being polite but firm when you tell them.
They may be asking purely out of a genuine desire to be caring employers - heck, I ask after my staff when I know they have been unwell. In that case you might suggest you are managing it, and tell them how you would like it to be handled. Eg, you might say you would prefer not to discuss it except with your immediate boss or the HR person. Tell them that if you have to duck out of meetings or whatever, you would prefer they just ignored it.
In practice, I find people need to know that usually Lyn won't eat the provided food at functions etc. It just makes life easier (for me) if people learn about my eating limitations and leave it at that. I usually just say that " I have a digestive condition, and if I eat the wrong thing I will end up spending waaay too much time in the bathroom.' Most people don't want the details. Asking them to get me a glass of water or chamomile tea can help them feel they are 'catering' for me. The people I work with most question me if I DO eat something
Then there are those who really do want to talk about it. Mostly these people either have some issue themselves, or have a family member they are worried about. I am happy to be a local GI expert, and will quickly ask why they are interested and start handing out unasked for advice. If you feel comfortable doing this, then ask them if they have troubles too. If you don't feel comfortable, you can always say you would rather not chat about it, or not now.
Lyn
Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. I'm still kind of new to this and the reality is it has been tough to even hold onto my job due to the fatigue and dizziness which is finally fading away. I think I've missed one day this year due to the disease but whew I really went through weeks of stuggle to get through the dizziness and fatigue. Thank you all again for your feedback and I know I need to toughen up and say "No thank you" firmly when the cake comes around. Brandy.
Brandy,
It does help to have something in your purse or desk that you *can* eat. Whether that's a Larabar, potato chips, or a pork chop - it's nice to participate. And eventually, when the cake comes around, folks may think to have something else on hand as well. Good luck - the beginning is the worst. You will get less fatigued and dizzy, and your diet will seem less about the NOs and more about the YESes (even though some days will always be a work in progress).
Glad to hear the worst fatigue is already fading,
Sara
It does help to have something in your purse or desk that you *can* eat. Whether that's a Larabar, potato chips, or a pork chop - it's nice to participate. And eventually, when the cake comes around, folks may think to have something else on hand as well. Good luck - the beginning is the worst. You will get less fatigued and dizzy, and your diet will seem less about the NOs and more about the YESes (even though some days will always be a work in progress).
Glad to hear the worst fatigue is already fading,
Sara
Lesley, I can't remember the flavor, but there's one that doesn't have almonds, which I also avoid. I can't remember what it *does* have (and that could be another problem food for you)...
That's one thing that's not hard to make yourself, though making them the right consistency to be portable could be another matter. A good food processor, and an experimental frame of mind - you could start with a little online recipe research, and just substitute at will. Dates are the main 'glue' of Larabars - I have made date-coconut thingies (even before MC). You can dust them with a little fine-shredded coconut to keep them from sticking to each other or whatever you wrap them in (if you're taking them 'to go'). Giant amounts of dried fruit can be an issue, so start with tiny portions...
That's one thing that's not hard to make yourself, though making them the right consistency to be portable could be another matter. A good food processor, and an experimental frame of mind - you could start with a little online recipe research, and just substitute at will. Dates are the main 'glue' of Larabars - I have made date-coconut thingies (even before MC). You can dust them with a little fine-shredded coconut to keep them from sticking to each other or whatever you wrap them in (if you're taking them 'to go'). Giant amounts of dried fruit can be an issue, so start with tiny portions...