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Dear Tex and everyone at the Potty People
I have been away for a long, long time........ and with all the support, factual and emotional, so many of you have given me I feel a complete cad to have been so absent. And to the hundreds and hundreds of newbies please let me say a very, very late welcome!
It is hard to explain what happened to me, but since late last summer I retreated into a shell.....I wanted to limit emotional issues and withdraw.
Last year my mother (91 years old) had a fall; broke her hip; went into hospital for a replacement operation; became much more demented than she already was; and together with my siblings we took the difficult decision to put her in a nursing home. This has, even to today, dominated my emotional thoughts. I find it unbearable to think of her in a home (in UK) especially as I am so far away in Asia. I have toyed with the idea of renting my flat in HK and my (still being built) condominium in Thailand to move back to the UK and take her out of the home to live with me (plus full time nurse and helper). That is what my heart says, but then my head says that such dreams are impracticable physically, mentally and financially. It still eats me up. I have been traveling to the UK every 2 months to visit and to try and take a decision on what best to do next.
That is why I have been away. This board is so full of good people giving selflessly.....so full of the best of human kindness....so full of humanity and emotion.....and yet here I am compromising...and a little ashamed.
Anyway, I have finally decided to poke my noise out of my shell. Maybe it is a sign of coming to terms with reality. I have missed thousands of posts, but I will try and pick up on the conversation here on.
As for my health update...I am still GF,DF,Soy and other LegumesF,EggF,NightshadeF. I am on one entocort every other day (except if I have D, when I take one a day (+Imodium) till D goes - usually about 3 days). My energy is pretty much back. I still worry about osteoporosis and other side affects of MC and/or (cause or effect) the use of entocort.
Again so sorry to have been MIA for so long,
Best wishes, Ant
So sorry to have been away for so long!
Moderators: Rosie, Stanz, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh
So sorry to have been away for so long!
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"Softly, softly catchee monkey".....
"Softly, softly catchee monkey".....
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Joefnh
- Rockhopper Penguin
- Posts: 2478
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:25 pm
- Location: Southern New Hampshire
Hi there Ant, I'm sorry to here about your mother and can only imagine what your thoughts and feelings are now. Certainly being away does not make you a cad and you have nothing at all to be ashamed of...you have been selflessly taking care of your family, there is no higher duty than that, everything else is second to that. Pulling into a shell is a way of protecting yourself and energies when needed.
It is great to see you posting, but certainly do understand the issues you are facing. Now that you have been working hard to take care of others I'm sure that's been taking up your time and emotional energies. I do hope your MC has been manageable.
I'm not sure how the schedules will line up, but I am looking at another visit to say hello to Gabes. I haven't sorted out the dates yet. As these plans firm up we could see if I could stop by and say hello either in HK or Thailand. Of course that's if you in the Pacific rim area and up to a visitor
Certainly wishing you and your family the very very best Ant, it was great to see you posting today
Take care
It is great to see you posting, but certainly do understand the issues you are facing. Now that you have been working hard to take care of others I'm sure that's been taking up your time and emotional energies. I do hope your MC has been manageable.
I'm not sure how the schedules will line up, but I am looking at another visit to say hello to Gabes. I haven't sorted out the dates yet. As these plans firm up we could see if I could stop by and say hello either in HK or Thailand. Of course that's if you in the Pacific rim area and up to a visitor
Certainly wishing you and your family the very very best Ant, it was great to see you posting today
Take care
Joe
Ant, so glad to see your post. It is extremely difficult to be social when your emotions are all over the place and your life situation is very much NOT what you want it to be. I tend to withdraw under those circumstances myself.
We are always happy to hear from you but we respect your privacy too, so nothing to feel bad about regarding this board.
An aging parent is hard to deal with especially when dementia is involved. A person feels so totally helpless. I do understand.
Love, Shirley
We are always happy to hear from you but we respect your privacy too, so nothing to feel bad about regarding this board.
An aging parent is hard to deal with especially when dementia is involved. A person feels so totally helpless. I do understand.
Love, Shirley
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber"
-- Winston Churchill
-- Winston Churchill
Welcome back Ant,
As already pointed out, no apologies are in order. We all have to take care of responsibilities at home first, and so we certainly understand how complicated and demanding that can become, sometimes. I'm sorry to hear about your mother's additional issues, but I'm sure that she's getting the care that she needs. We're just glad to "see" you whenever you have the time, and it's good to hear that you have your treatment program down to a science.
Of course, there's no way to predict such things, but I would think that at such a low dose of Entocort, any damage that might occur to your bones, should be quite minimal. You're certainly much better off than you were before you eliminated gluten from your diet, since that was almost surely the source of your osteoporosis issues, in the first place.
It's great to see you back,
Tex
As already pointed out, no apologies are in order. We all have to take care of responsibilities at home first, and so we certainly understand how complicated and demanding that can become, sometimes. I'm sorry to hear about your mother's additional issues, but I'm sure that she's getting the care that she needs. We're just glad to "see" you whenever you have the time, and it's good to hear that you have your treatment program down to a science.
Of course, there's no way to predict such things, but I would think that at such a low dose of Entocort, any damage that might occur to your bones, should be quite minimal. You're certainly much better off than you were before you eliminated gluten from your diet, since that was almost surely the source of your osteoporosis issues, in the first place.
It's great to see you back,
Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
Ant, it's good to see you back.
I'm sorry that you have been dealing with difficult issues. Aging parents certainly is no picnic! My parents, when they were in their late 80's, chose to move to a retirement community that has continuing care. They didn't really expect to use it, but did. My dad was in assisted living for a year before he died, and then my mom was in assisted living for about a year and a half before being moved to the fuller-care dementia unit. She isn't that bad, but she has days where her memory is not good, and the administration, together with my sister who lives nearby, decided that she would do better with more care.
None of us would have been able to care for her in our homes. It is hard to have to admit that, but sometimes it is better for a person to be in a place where they can get the professional care that they need.
Each case is unique, of course, but I hope it encourages you to know that others have faced this issue, and chosen to go the route of a home. It's not because we don't love our parents, or want to care for them, but because we don't have the expertise to do so.
On another note, I am going to be in Bangkok for the entire month of May. My son and daughter-in-law are expecting a baby in mid-May, and asked me to come out and be there to help with the two-year-old, and just be around to do whatever.
Any hints you can give me on what is safe to eat in Thailand for a gluten, dairy, and soy (and all legumes) free diet would be great. I want to try as much Thai food as I can, but I don't want to get sick.
Martha
I'm sorry that you have been dealing with difficult issues. Aging parents certainly is no picnic! My parents, when they were in their late 80's, chose to move to a retirement community that has continuing care. They didn't really expect to use it, but did. My dad was in assisted living for a year before he died, and then my mom was in assisted living for about a year and a half before being moved to the fuller-care dementia unit. She isn't that bad, but she has days where her memory is not good, and the administration, together with my sister who lives nearby, decided that she would do better with more care.
None of us would have been able to care for her in our homes. It is hard to have to admit that, but sometimes it is better for a person to be in a place where they can get the professional care that they need.
Each case is unique, of course, but I hope it encourages you to know that others have faced this issue, and chosen to go the route of a home. It's not because we don't love our parents, or want to care for them, but because we don't have the expertise to do so.
On another note, I am going to be in Bangkok for the entire month of May. My son and daughter-in-law are expecting a baby in mid-May, and asked me to come out and be there to help with the two-year-old, and just be around to do whatever.
Any hints you can give me on what is safe to eat in Thailand for a gluten, dairy, and soy (and all legumes) free diet would be great. I want to try as much Thai food as I can, but I don't want to get sick.
Martha
Martha
Hi Ant,
How very delightful to see a post from you - I have been worried about you and wondering about what has been happening with you. If I'm not mistaken, I believe last you posted you had trouble with a fractured rib??? So very sorry to hear about your mom - that must be so hard when you're far away.
I totally agree with the others here - no need to worry about being absent from the board. This place is amazing in the way it seems to take care of itself - when old timers drop off for a spell, it seems that new ones pick up the slack; and then of course there is the ever present "TEX" - he is simply a miracle worker and holds this "home" together for us (thanks Tex:)).
I have also been absent from here quite a bit lately, as I've been in the mountains skiing :). However, I feel so comforted by the thought that I can always come back here for support, and hopefully add some value to others who are suffering with this pesky disease.
I wish you and your family all the best, and hope you'll find peace of mind with your very difficult situation.
Love,
Kari
How very delightful to see a post from you - I have been worried about you and wondering about what has been happening with you. If I'm not mistaken, I believe last you posted you had trouble with a fractured rib??? So very sorry to hear about your mom - that must be so hard when you're far away.
I totally agree with the others here - no need to worry about being absent from the board. This place is amazing in the way it seems to take care of itself - when old timers drop off for a spell, it seems that new ones pick up the slack; and then of course there is the ever present "TEX" - he is simply a miracle worker and holds this "home" together for us (thanks Tex:)).
I have also been absent from here quite a bit lately, as I've been in the mountains skiing :). However, I feel so comforted by the thought that I can always come back here for support, and hopefully add some value to others who are suffering with this pesky disease.
I wish you and your family all the best, and hope you'll find peace of mind with your very difficult situation.
Love,
Kari
"My mouth waters whenever I pass a bakery shop and sniff the aroma of fresh bread, but I am also grateful simply to be alive and sniffing." Dr. Bernstein
Hi Ant! It's so nice to "hear" from you again.
As you know, we always enjoy hearing from members. When they're absent we miss them, but realize that everyone's circumstances are different. You've been struggling with some heart-rendering issues which have no easy solution. I struggled with having my mother in a nursing home and know how you feel. I hope you can come to some peace about the situation.
It sounds like your MC is behaving pretty well. I wouldn't change a thing with your management if I were you.
Send us pictures of your condo in Thailand when it's completed. I'd love to see it.
Gloria
As you know, we always enjoy hearing from members. When they're absent we miss them, but realize that everyone's circumstances are different. You've been struggling with some heart-rendering issues which have no easy solution. I struggled with having my mother in a nursing home and know how you feel. I hope you can come to some peace about the situation.
It sounds like your MC is behaving pretty well. I wouldn't change a thing with your management if I were you.
Send us pictures of your condo in Thailand when it's completed. I'd love to see it.
Gloria
You never know what you can do until you have to do it.
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MBombardier
- Rockhopper Penguin
- Posts: 1523
- Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:44 am
- Location: Vancouver, WA
WELCOME BACK!! 
Thank you everyone for your welcome back messages 
and for your understanding and reassurances concerning the decisions I am taking about my mother and my absence from PP.
Joe, let me know the dates when you have them and we will see if a visit can be lined up.
Martha, I should be in Thailand mid-May on my way to UK. When I have the dates I will let you know and hope we can meet up.
Best wishes, Ant
and for your understanding and reassurances concerning the decisions I am taking about my mother and my absence from PP.Joe, let me know the dates when you have them and we will see if a visit can be lined up.
Martha, I should be in Thailand mid-May on my way to UK. When I have the dates I will let you know and hope we can meet up.
Best wishes, Ant
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"Softly, softly catchee monkey".....
"Softly, softly catchee monkey".....
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Sheila
- Rockhopper Penguin
- Posts: 1150
- Joined: Wed May 18, 2011 5:10 am
- Location: Palm Beach Gardens, Fl
Welcome back Ant. When I first joined I very much enjoyed your posts from around the world.
My MIL lived into her late 80's with increasing dementia. She spent every other weekend with us and also had a full time caretaker during the week in her small condo . It got to a point that we could not handle her at home and had to rely on outside help. There is only so much one person can do, or even two people can do in a home setting. Don't feel guilty for not doing the impossible. You have done the best you can and that is all anyone should expect from you, including yourself.
I am also taking Entocort, one a day, and my GI recommended taking Caltrate D for possible osteoporosis.
Sheila W
My MIL lived into her late 80's with increasing dementia. She spent every other weekend with us and also had a full time caretaker during the week in her small condo . It got to a point that we could not handle her at home and had to rely on outside help. There is only so much one person can do, or even two people can do in a home setting. Don't feel guilty for not doing the impossible. You have done the best you can and that is all anyone should expect from you, including yourself.
I am also taking Entocort, one a day, and my GI recommended taking Caltrate D for possible osteoporosis.
Sheila W
To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.
A person who never made a mistake never tried something new. Einstein
A person who never made a mistake never tried something new. Einstein
ANT!!!! 
So wonderful to hear from you!!!!!
Listen to Sheila! I was in the same situation! My mom had dementia and was in a long term care placement for the last 10 years of her life. That placement was far better for her than it would have been if she lived with me. They were "experts" and provided the kind of socialization and expertise that my mom needed and that I would have been unable to provide in my home. Do NOT beat yourself up, please.
How I wish that I were planning a trip to HK or Thailand - I would love to meet you. Have a wonderful birthday and terrific next year. So glad to hear that your health is stable.
Love,
Polly
So wonderful to hear from you!!!!!
Listen to Sheila! I was in the same situation! My mom had dementia and was in a long term care placement for the last 10 years of her life. That placement was far better for her than it would have been if she lived with me. They were "experts" and provided the kind of socialization and expertise that my mom needed and that I would have been unable to provide in my home. Do NOT beat yourself up, please.
How I wish that I were planning a trip to HK or Thailand - I would love to meet you. Have a wonderful birthday and terrific next year. So glad to hear that your health is stable.
Love,
Polly
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Dear Sheila and Polly
Thank you for your words of wisdom and experience. They truly help.
Polly, I saw your post about your brother. I am so sorry for your loss.
You gave him care and love. To know you are loved is the most important thing. You did that and that lasts for eternity.
Love, Ant.
Thank you for your words of wisdom and experience. They truly help.
Polly, I saw your post about your brother. I am so sorry for your loss.
You gave him care and love. To know you are loved is the most important thing. You did that and that lasts for eternity.
Love, Ant.
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"Softly, softly catchee monkey".....
"Softly, softly catchee monkey".....
Hello Ant,
Good to see you back. I too tend to drop on and off from time to time. But I always have the PP place as a shortcut on my iPad in case I need to come back.
Also starting to deal with aging parents and dementia, etc. Nothing easy about that, especially if their are no siblings to help and if you are dealing with distance. I am sorry you have had to retreat emotionally but that is my tendency as well, so I get that.
Glad to see you are managing your MC. I have settled on two Asacols per day, mostly as a preventive measure as I never know who or what is going to contaminate me on my travels. Glad the Entocort is working out for you.
Good luck with your mom. Having just had my mother move in with us, I can understand your predicament. But all for the right reasons.
Rich
Good to see you back. I too tend to drop on and off from time to time. But I always have the PP place as a shortcut on my iPad in case I need to come back.
Also starting to deal with aging parents and dementia, etc. Nothing easy about that, especially if their are no siblings to help and if you are dealing with distance. I am sorry you have had to retreat emotionally but that is my tendency as well, so I get that.
Glad to see you are managing your MC. I have settled on two Asacols per day, mostly as a preventive measure as I never know who or what is going to contaminate me on my travels. Glad the Entocort is working out for you.
Good luck with your mom. Having just had my mother move in with us, I can understand your predicament. But all for the right reasons.
Rich
"It's not what I believe. It's what I can prove." - A Few Good Men
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MaggieRedwings
- King Penguin
- Posts: 3865
- Joined: Tue May 31, 2005 3:16 am
- Location: SE Pennsylvania
Ant,
So happy to see you back on with us but never, ever feel like a cad for being absent. We all have to shoulder life's responsibilities - happy or sad - and need to withdrawl sometimes to take care of them. So sorry about your mum but I feel that you have done the right thing by having her be with experts in the care she needs. You are both in my prayers.
Love, Maggie
So happy to see you back on with us but never, ever feel like a cad for being absent. We all have to shoulder life's responsibilities - happy or sad - and need to withdrawl sometimes to take care of them. So sorry about your mum but I feel that you have done the right thing by having her be with experts in the care she needs. You are both in my prayers.
Love, Maggie
Maggie Scarpone
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Resident Birder - I live to bird and enjoy life!
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Resident Birder - I live to bird and enjoy life!