looking for support.................anyone....newbie

[Camie]

Recently diagonosed with Microscopic colitiis... as of June 5. My mom passes two weeks ago to this day. My stomach has been in an uproar. ( I seriously consider a five minute trip to the drug store) And with all of this my spouse launches an attack on me about ongoing household issues. Really?

I guess in this household their is no time to grieve or be ill. Seeking support with those that understand.

Really, since all of the above...........their have meals on the table........laundry and clean towels. I am not a slacker!

Anyway.........I was started on Entocort .......this week ............hoping for the best1

[carol1946]

Hi Camie.....

I'm a newbie too.....my condition is CC going on 18 years. I am also a single mother of two daughters, one is 31 and the other 42.....two different fathers. My first husband was physically and mentally abusive, my second was controling and mentally abusive.....actually they were both controling. I divorced my first husband after 9 years of marriage.....I may have made a mistake on that as he is now a millionare -- he is the graphic artist who has designed all of the labels for Odwalla Fruit and Vegetable Juice on the west coast.

My second husband (both named Donald J.....a humor break) decided that he wanted another woman after 14 years of marriage.....he's now on relationship #4 currently. My 31 year old daughter just separated from her husband of 10 years due to substance abuse and all the s__t that goes with it. However, they have 6 children and she's going through a really rough time right now.....thinking that she may have made a mistake by moving out. Her father just broke her heart by cutting her off financially and denying her access to an inheritence that is rightfully hers.

So, I have tons of sympathy and understanding for a woman like yourself who has a partner who does not seem to have empathy that you need at anytime, not just when you have suffered the loss of your mother and dealing with MC. You sound so much like my daughter......with 6 children, ages 13, 11, 8, 6, 3 and a daughter who just turned 1. She, the baby, underwent open heart surgery at 10 days old.

Enough about me and mine.....I just wanted to let you know that you can feel free to write me as often and as lengthy as you feel like. It's mentally unhealthy to hold in all your feelings.

I need a course in how to answer the questions in my profile so, for now, you can email me at carollouisecrochets@yahoo.com.

Take care and hang in there!
Carol

[Lesley]

Camie,
Been there, done that. Needless to say I really understand. Vent away. You will get understanding and help here.

[tex]

Camie,

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with problems on all sides. This disease confuses a lot of family members, because we don't look sick. Consequently, while some of us are able to get the support we need at home, others are criticized, because family members think that we're just faking our symptoms, and the disease is in our head (some GI docs have the same attitude).

Many, many members here have had similar experiences. You have to actually have this disease in order to properly understand it.

Tex

[Martha]

Dear Camie,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. And for having MC and not getting any support or sympathy at home. Being expected to carry on as if nothing were wrong is just plain hard.



Martha

[jmayk8]

I am also sorry for your loss and for your stresses at home... We are all on the same MC boat and this is the perfect place to vent, we are all here for each other.
Jenny

[carolm]

Camie,

I guess in this household their is no time to grieve or be ill. Seeking support with those that understand.

Let me encourage you to make sure to take time to grieve-- or it will fester and you will probably become more ill than you are now. Your husband may be in a hurry for things to return to 'normal', especially if he is a guy that hates change, but you really must look out for yourself. Depression results from people 'stuffing' feelings and using up all their energy trying to keep those feels stuffed. Don't take that route. Others may be telling to you 'get on with it'. They are wrong. It's important that you grieve like you need to.

I agree too with Tex and others who said people don't understand this disease. Just when I think my husband 'gets it', he'll say something stupid that shows me he doesn't. I don't hesitate to assert myself when I need to, but it does get old sometimes.

Please take care of yourself. Don't hesitate to vent here.

Hugs.
Carol

[LindyLou]

Camie, I'm so sorry for your loss. I too have lost my mother last April and entered into one of the worst flares I had ever experienced in the 14 months since my diagnosis. Although I've had undiagnosed MC for the last 12 years, it's been the last two years that I've really gone downhill. My husband has tried to be supportive but fell far short until I had a mental meltdown directed squarely at him. I have been trying to reduce the stress in my life by delegating a few of the things I'm responsible for to him and the kids to no avail. Basically I verbally hit him with a brick! Telling him how he has let me down in this partnership we have had for the last 30 years. Surprisingly he had nothing to say in reply. This took place last winter and since then, he has completely changed his attitude. He's helpful around the house, runs interference for me with our two young adult children. They still live with us as one just graduated from high school and the other is a junior in college. I think he finally gets it! I agree with Carol....... Take the time you need to grieve...... Ignore the others who become impatient. Better yet - pick out some of the posts on this board and have your husband read them. Trying to educate those who don't have this disease is difficult. As Tex says you don't fully "get" this disease until you get it, but I finally feel like my husband has a better understanding. Sending you big hugs.

Linda

[Mim18]

So sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom. Everyone is right. You do need to take time to grieve. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I do hope that the Entocort kicks in right away to give you some relief from the MC. When I started it 4 months ago, I noticed a difference within 3-4 days.

Stay in touch with everyone here. You will get a wealth of sympathy, support, and information on MC.

Marion

[Leah]

Hi Camie. I really hope the meds give you some relief.
On the home front, what usually works for me when my husband just doesn't get it, is to sit down and write a nice long letter saying everything you are feeling. It not only allows you to articulate exactly what you want to say without being interrupted, but there is something very therapeutic about writing things down.
Don't worry about venting. We are here for you

Leah

[MaggieRedwings]

Hi Carrie and Welcome.

Please feel free to vent all you need to here. Most of us have been in similar situations but fortunately for me, I have a totally understanding husband and so appreciate it.

It is a tough disease but we will support you. Good luck with the Entocort.

Maggie

[Camie]

Thank you all for your kind and supportive words. It really does bring a tear to my eyes. Strangers to me, but sending a caring thought my way. Thank you again!

I think this is a lonely disease. You might look great on the outside.........but.....the insides are damaged. I believe you have to have it to understand it.

I think the entocort is working...............as my stomach is quiet. It is just quiet!

So many things to deal with at this moment.

One step at a time

Thanks again
Camie