Shreddies . . . what will they think of next???

[mbeezie]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/2 ... lp00000009

Mary Beth

[JLH]

Oct 25, 2013
Humor

Celiac disease
Is a disease of the gut
And more times than not
It’s a giant pain in the butt

A pain in the butt
Can mean so many things
For all the problems it causes
For all the angst in brings

But today we’re not talking about
The perils of our disease
What we will talk about, how should I put this gently
Passing gas, if you please

Toots, breaking wind, quiefs
Stepping on a duck
Rip one, cut a muffin, anal acoustics
That last one gets a big yuck

Farts, air biscuits, poots
Bottom burps and fluffs
Stinkers, trouser coughs, cutting cheese
Ok…that’s enough

Up until today
We’ve learned to live with our big stank
But now we’ve got some Shreddies
And the celiac gods I must thank

What’s a Shreddie you say
Is it a potion or a gel
Nope…it’s very special underwear
That covers up your smell

Well, technically it’s called
Flatulence-filtering underwear
But no matter what you call it
Life finally seems fair

You see a celiac’s insides
Are usually quite a mess
And when your tummy is a-rumbling
Your body’s in distress

So it’s out of our control
The thing that they call gas
It can happen at a party
It can happen during mass

It can happen at a meeting
It can happen at the gym
It can happen in an elevator
It can happen getting a trim

It can happen in the bedroom
When you’re asleep or you’re awake
It can happen in the worst possible moments
Yes…even at a wake

But now there is no reason
For you to live a life of fear
Shreddies to the rescue
To cover up your rear

So go ahead and let it rip
No one will ever know
You can cut a melon
And the smell will stay below

I know what you’re thinking
How can I thank you Gluten Dude
I can now go out worry free
With a whole new attitude

There is no need to thank me
I do this from the heart
Now go buy some Shreddies
And celebrate with a fart

[mbeezie]

Joan,

Did you write that??? Very funny!



Mary Beth

[JLH]

No, The Gluten Dude did.....

[CathyMe.]

Oct 25, 2013
Humor

Celiac disease
Is a disease of the gut
And more times than not
It’s a giant pain in the butt

A pain in the butt
Can mean so many things
For all the problems it causes
For all the angst in brings

But today we’re not talking about
The perils of our disease
What we will talk about, how should I put this gently
Passing gas, if you please

Toots, breaking wind, quiefs
Stepping on a duck
Rip one, cut a muffin, anal acoustics
That last one gets a big yuck

Farts, air biscuits, poots
Bottom burps and fluffs
Stinkers, trouser coughs, cutting cheese
Ok…that’s enough

Up until today
We’ve learned to live with our big stank
But now we’ve got some Shreddies
And the celiac gods I must thank

What’s a Shreddie you say
Is it a potion or a gel
Nope…it’s very special underwear
That covers up your smell

Well, technically it’s called
Flatulence-filtering underwear
But no matter what you call it
Life finally seems fair

You see a celiac’s insides
Are usually quite a mess
And when your tummy is a-rumbling
Your body’s in distress

So it’s out of our control
The thing that they call gas
It can happen at a party
It can happen during mass

It can happen at a meeting
It can happen at the gym
It can happen in an elevator
It can happen getting a trim

It can happen in the bedroom
When you’re asleep or you’re awake
It can happen in the worst possible moments
Yes…even at a wake

But now there is no reason
For you to live a life of fear
Shreddies to the rescue
To cover up your rear

So go ahead and let it rip
No one will ever know
You can cut a melon
And the smell will stay below

I know what you’re thinking
How can I thank you Gluten Dude
I can now go out worry free
With a whole new attitude

There is no need to thank me
I do this from the heart
Now go buy some Shreddies
And celebrate with a fart

OMG this is SO very funny and SO very true!!!! Thanks for the laugh Joan and The Gluten Dude!!!!