Maybe We Need To Realign Our Toilets

[tex]

Hi All,

We all know that dogs tend to be much more perceptive than humans, but here's one example that never occurred to most of us. Maybe we're all overlooking something with our routine. Maybe dogs are onto something.

Dog owners are familiar with the sight of Spike sniffing, hovering, rotating, and then finally settling in to handle his business. It may seem like quite a production, but the pup may actually be getting into proper alignment with the Earth's magnetic field.

The study shows a high level of dedication, with the researchers logging 1,893 dog-defecation observations using breeds ranging from beagles to mutts. The data was collected outside in open fields so dogs wouldn't be biased by routines established during regular walks. The study reads, "alignment during excreting was apparent under conditions of quiet magnet field, irrespective of the time of day or month."

Dogs do doo-duty in alignment with Earth's magnetic field



Now if only someone would invent a toilet that senses the earth's magnetic field and automatically realigns the orientation accordingly. Of course, it would need to be installed with sufficient spacing from all other objects (including walls) to allow for 360-degree rotation. It would be so appealing to kids that potty-training would become an enjoyable game, rather than a dreaded challenge.

And it would help to relieve much of the stress and boredom that accompanies all those trips to the bathroom made by people who have an IBD, since it would optimize the elimination process. Who knows? It's possible that constipation might be automatically resolved. Here's a multimillion dollar product idea, free for the taking.

Tex

[wmonique2]

Tex, TOO FUNNY!

Certainly a good idea for some mad scientist if he can convince the American public that swiveling toilets are in their best interest. Hey, I read recently that cows always align themselves in the same direction because of the earth magnetic field. I think lots of things are being attributed lately to the earth magnetic field, so why not toilets?



Monique

[mzh]

LOVE IT!

[DJ]

I can't help but pull this thread and ask the question: Do you think that cows line up in one direction and fart?

http://www.foxnews.com/science/2013/11/ ... -spew-gas/

[tex]

Cows are smarter than they look. Unless they are limited by a fence, they always graze into the wind. So the answer to your question is, "Yes". I don't mean to imply that they line up single file — usually they graze across a pasture or field in sort of a wave formation, but they are indeed all parallel with the prevailing wind direction, and their nose is upwind.

That article seems to insinuate that it's the cows' fault that they are producing twice as much methane as the government estimates. As always, the government tries to blame it's own incompetence on the subject of their botched studies. How complicated could the mathematics be?

I don't know about Kansas, but Texas and Oklahoma are loaded with oil and gas wells, as the article mentions. And all the fracking operations that are required in order to be able to extract oil from shale rock formations, is bound to result in a lot of lost gas as part of the process. Most of those wells aren't particularly deep, so in some cases the fractured formations surely result in entrapped gases percolating upward through the soil to escape into the atmosphere. The gas might not necessarily be emanating from the targeted formations, but from untargeted gas reservoirs in the surrounding strata that are disturbed as a result of the fracking operation.

And in some formations (not shale), poisonous gas is burned, in order to safely dispose of it, as the oil is extracted. I note that when I drive through country that's populated with such wells, I can often smell hydrogen sulfide. By contrast, I'm surrounded by cattle country (who isn't, if they live in Texas ), but I don't recall ever smelling cow flatulence. Maybe their digestion is so efficient that they produce pure methane (which is odorless), but that's kind of hard to believe.

I suspect that the problem is that the government (with prompting by global warming activists) is trying to make a mountain out of a molehill (IOW, an engine of global warming out of a cow fart). They seem to have forgotten that before cows came along, most of this country was covered by millions of bison, with an almost identical digestive system.

Tex

[DJ]

Okay, Tex, that's one opinion. Whenever I go to the state fair I walk right up to the cows with my face about a foot from theirs and look them in the eye and talk to them. This alone makes me a cow expert. I can tell you that they have beautiful, inviting, innocent eyes and they are terrorists. You have clearly been captured by their allure.
As evidenced by your post, cows are single-minded and have one mission. They are plotting to destroy us! Not only are they tooting toxins, they "generously" provide us with dairy products. How's that work'n for ya? They have a plan. Don't be fooled by their feigned innocence.

[tex]

I certainly wouldn't attempt to argue against that scenario. But as you point out, cows at least reward us with tangible benefits, and the rewards include not only milk, but meat as well, and abundant supplies of manure, for all the avid organic gardeners out there.

But when it comes to deceiving humans by means of their guile and their insidious, seemingly-subservient behavior, cows are just pikers, compared with dogs and cats. Dogs and cats have no peer when it comes to ingenuity and imaginativeness.

Consider this: Who among us would be brilliant enough to attempt to captivate and dominate the hearts and souls of the dominant species on a planet, by clawing, biting, and otherwise ripping their upholstered furniture and draperies, soiling their carpets, and defecating on their lawns and sidewalks? Would it ever occur to us that the way to win over their undying devotion is to pretend to be happy to see them, so that we have an excuse to jump up on them to wipe our muddy feet on their clothes?

Or would we ever think of slobbering all over their face after chewing on a road-killed skunk or some other dead varmint, in order to convince them that we are simply displaying our affection by means of wet kisses? I doubt that even the most innovative among our species would figure out that rolling around on that dead skunk, or snake, or whatever, in order to get our body thoroughly saturated with the pungent odor, and then regally posing on their bed, or couch, or their favorite easy chair, would be instrumental in winning a lifetime of luxurious living.

Would we ever be capable of figuring out that the key to ensure that they love us enough to provide us with free, delicious food, a nice soft, warm place to sleep, and all the expensive healthcare services we might ever need, from cradle to grave, is to mark their window panes and certain prominent parts of their furniture with our urine, every time they turn their back? And while they might have a hit or miss exercise program themselves, would it ever occur to us that all we have to do is to claw on the door, or bark at them, in order to persuade them to get up off their butt to turn us out to do our business, or to take us for a walk during a blizzard, or a rainstorm, so that we can play in the snow, or water, or mud?

Clearly, the answer to all these questions is an unequivocal, "No!" There is little question that our cunning pets are much smarter than we could ever hope to be. To add insult to injury, for the most part (outside of a little informal entertainment now and then), they provide us with no tangible benefits. And as fast as animal rights are currently progressing, it won't be long before they will be granted the right to vote, and after that happens . . . Look out! After that point, they will no longer have to pretend to like us, because they will be able to easily outvote us. Life will never be the same again. And to think that a generation or so ago we were worried about being taken over by the Russians, and now we are concerned about being owned by the Chinese. Clearly, we have been ignoring the elephant in the room.

Tex

P. S. I hope that this post doesn't offend anyone (or any pets that might be reading it). I've had pets all of my life, and I'm just reporting some of what I've learned from them.

[Fiona]

Too funny (and true). Jerry Seinfeld does a bit where he says if aliens were looking at life on planet earth, they would assume that dogs are clearly in charge. Otherwise, why are they leading around humans who walk several paces behind them and pick up their poop?

OK, I just looked it up. The actual quote is "On my block, a lot of people walk their dogs and I always see them walking along with their little poop bags. This, to me, is the lowest activity in human life. Following a dog with a little scooper. Waiting for him to go so you can walk down the street with it in your bag. If aliens are watching this through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?"

[DebE13]

[DJ]

..........and I thought I wanted a dog. I'm getting a cow.

[tex]

Tex

[sunny]

This thread was a fun read! Cheered me up!
Sunny

[MaggieRedwings]

Great Thread.

The senior community I live in has way more than their share of dogs - cannot exceed 20 lbs. However, my one neighbor loves to walk Buttercup her dog and then porch sit with me in the Spring and Summer. She is a very expressive person and talks with her hands all the time and as she talks, she swings about the poop bag she carries. I finally had to mention that it would be nice if she put down the bag to talk. She now visits less but got the point.



Love, Maggie

[DJ]

That's so funny Maggie. I suppose carrying a bag of poop becomes second nature, much like changing a baby diaper.