Family has had enough of my Magnesium talk

[Erica P-G]

I sit here hoping that one day all the great and glorious information that I have bestowed upon my family about Magnesium and the VitD3 working together, that they will tell me I was right one day.

I've tried to share my story with my kids (my boy and daughter are neutral about it all). My daughter-in-law is tired of hearing about its uses so my son politely asked me to not share my gluten/magnesium healing with her. The kicker was last night I am not sure if my husband was just tired but he feels I'm "obsessed" with the magnesium.

I think I only get about 600 mg of mag a day on or in me total. I guess I talk about it too much I must also feel pretty strongly about its usefulness too. I am hoping that I can get my cyclic migraines in check and that is something I am testing on myself right now. It didn't work this month so I guess I silently increase my mag amount a little and see if it helps for next month.

I'm just bummed I can't discuss or talk about this to my family (perhaps ever again), apparently being able to use the bathroom normally now is about as important as it gets to those around me.

I suppose its going to really annoy them when it comes time for holidays or get togethers and I have to discuss my food options again. (I'm just hurt at the moment....I know my kids/husband love me, but who knows how much more of MY situation they really are interested in anymore).

I have kept an open mind about Magnesium and I hear this and that from family and friends about certain ailments others are going thru and I want to say 'Have you had your magnesium checked, or are you getting any in your diet'...but I keep my mouth shut, I feel like I'm probably going to be tuned out real soon.

Thanks for letting me vent....just haven't been my happy go lucky self lately.
Erica

[Deb]

I understand, Erica. My daughter understands (though she's still eating gluten) but my son and wife think I have a gluten issue because I quit eating it???? My daughter-in-law has admitted she's never felt better than when she was eating low carb, though.
DH is now also having issues with gluten so I think the handwriting is on the wall for my kids. Bummer! Deb

[Marcia K]

Hi, Erica. I think we're in a world all of our own with this disease. I can't say that my family is overly interested, either. They're glad that I'm better and they ask me where I can eat if we are going out to dinner but other than that we don't talk about it too much. I'm glad that I have all of this new found knowledge in case it's ever needed by my family. This is a great place to vent, we all understand!

[HappyBird]

Hello Erica.......

I am sorry to hear about your nearest and dearest are being terse and unsympathetic. It's hurtful especially you being their mother.

Family and friends, I have found, generally are not the best empathy givers unless they themselves have been in a similar situation. My partner, for instance, only recognised and bestowed empathy on me after reading much of this website as a guest. I was desperately ill at the time and not functioning at all. I thought I was going to die at the time and said so fairly often. I had toothache all day, couldn't eat much and was moaned at tonight for wanting to retire early and told "you are always sick." Not strictly true. I still retired early. Some people don't deal with illness well, especially if they are not often unwell themselves.

I keep much of my sicky business to myself - my sons are both overseas and both have very pressured positions and huge responsibility so I like to appear strong, healthy and there for those moments they need support. I'm terrible - constantly tell porkies about how I am. It's not good and I know it. You are perhaps my polar opposite - seeing your family often and able to share more easily. Maybe only share your problems with your children and not the in-laws.

Possibly we both need to step back and venture to the middle ground, me being a bit more honest and you maybe need to have a chat to your sons about your need to share and come to a compromise. You need their support and to feel able to talk when you need to.

We are always here on the forum.........I pop in daily and so do many others.
Jen

[jlbattin]

Erica,

I get it........and you can vent at me/to me whenever you want to. Fortunately, I live far enough away from my family that they don't hear about any of it often (but many of them don't understand it nor do I feel they want to).............my husband does understand and gets it...............doesn't like me being sick so is pretty much willing to do whatever it takes for me not to be...................but sometimes tunes me out......................we should just naturally feel good all the time and if I don't or have a rough day, I think that's when he tunes me out................

None of my friends or colleagues really get it..................so I don't bother! I come here everyday and read just to keep me sane sometimes!

[tex]

Hi Erica,

You've posted about a very common problem among MC patients. It seems that MC is the Rodney Dangerfield of diseases — it gets no respect.

Our parents and grandparents never discussed their bathroom habits and/or bowel problems. They were raised understanding that those topics were something that one just didn't discuss with others, and most of them probably didn't even discuss bowel problems with their doctors unless something was really seriously wrong.

So probably, even though most people today are willing to discuss many things that their parents refused to discuss, there is still some stigma attached to discussing bowel problems, and many people seem to get burned out on the topic rather quickly. They probably view having to listen to someone else describe their digestive issues as cruel and unusual punishment.

And contrary to logic, it seems that most family members would rather "eat a bug" than to take advice about vitamin or mineral supplements, or health advice in general, from a loved one. They can read the same thing on FB, or see it on Dr. OZ's show, and they can't wait to try it themselves, but if a loved one suggests it . . .

And trying to convince a family member who has the obvious symptoms of gluten sensitivity, to try the GF diet, is about as close to "Mission Impossible" as we will ever come. I've given up on 'em — all it does is make 'em mad.

So yes, most of us can definitely identify with your family experiences.

Hugs,
Tex

[Gabes-Apg]

you can lead a person to knowledge, but you cant make them think.....

I suppose it kinda comes down to, there is some elation when we find this group, find others 'like us', we read and ask questions and laugh and cry with our new 'family'. We start deleting the old beliefs about food, eating, etc and start afresh in MC world, the articles and discussions about digestion, nutrition and health make loads of sense, and when we figure out our safe eating plan and start to see improvement we get empowered!! wellness, improvement, etc we want those close to us to have the same gift....

there are not many people in my life, outside of MC world that 'get it', and I have come to a level of peace, it is what it is....
it is their bodies, their life, and 'their shite' if they dont want to take my learnings and avoid major issues, then that is their loss.

I will make time to share info, links to good web sites, suggestions for books etc to anyone who wants to proactive about wellness.

That is part of the gratitude I have regarding MC coming into my life, via this forum I linked up with many awesome intelligent caring people. MC linked us, but the friendships contain so much more than just digestion and health....
and it is why even though my MC is pretty much 'managed' I still participate in the forum, for me it is a place that i like being, amongst people who 'get it', 'embrace me for me'

[Lilja]

I sit here hoping that one day all the great and glorious information that I have bestowed upon my family about Magnesium and the VitD3 working together, that they will tell me I was right one day.

I've tried to share my story with my kids (my boy and daughter are neutral about it all). My daughter-in-law is tired of hearing about its uses so my son politely asked me to not share my gluten/magnesium healing with her. The kicker was last night I am not sure if my husband was just tired but he feels I'm "obsessed" with the magnesium.

I think I only get about 600 mg of mag a day on or in me total. I guess I talk about it too much I must also feel pretty strongly about its usefulness too. I am hoping that I can get my cyclic migraines in check and that is something I am testing on myself right now. It didn't work this month so I guess I silently increase my mag amount a little and see if it helps for next month.

I'm just bummed I can't discuss or talk about this to my family (perhaps ever again), apparently being able to use the bathroom normally now is about as important as it gets to those around me.

I suppose its going to really annoy them when it comes time for holidays or get togethers and I have to discuss my food options again. (I'm just hurt at the moment....I know my kids/husband love me, but who knows how much more of MY situation they really are interested in anymore).

I have kept an open mind about Magnesium and I hear this and that from family and friends about certain ailments others are going thru and I want to say 'Have you had your magnesium checked, or are you getting any in your diet'...but I keep my mouth shut, I feel like I'm probably going to be tuned out real soon.

Thanks for letting me vent....just haven't been my happy go lucky self lately.
Erica

Erica,

I'm so with you in this, and I experience exactly the same with my family.

I have wondered a lot why and I think that their reaction to us celebrating the effects of magnesium and vit D3, is

1) they are concerned with our health, they don't want us to be sick and be reminded of this all the time
2) they can't imagine how sick we have been, and how consuming it is, because they haven't been that sick themselves
3) they don't understand the disease (who does?) and that vitamins are so important in order to heal, very few people do
4) they feel helpless and have bad conscience, since they cannot help us and they are afraid of losing us

The other day my son came over to fix my stove, and complained about a cold that has lasted for 5 weeks. I gave him one of my precious hoarded D3 boxes, (despite the fact that I cannot get the hold of high dose vit D3 any longer, due to Norway's ban on import of high dose supplements), and he exclaimed: "Oh! You and your vitamins! Vitamins are always your answer".

But he took the box and smiled...

Lilia

[Blueberry]

Typically what I've done is when a health issue comes up in the family I'll often share health information, such as benefits of eating wheat free, or taking magnesium, etc. Sometimes the information is well received and sometimes it is passed over in favor of traditional hospital treatments. What ever gets the job done and the person is comfortable with is what counts. Probably where we differ most in the family is our views of our health care system. I hold more of an opinion that hospitals are all to often the proverbial slick used car dealers. I take more of a trust doctors, but verify position. Don't be afraid to say no to their suggestions. I thought this a nice mention on why that is and the problems seen with medical research:

http://drmalcolmkendrick.org/2015/08/27 ... n-stables/

snippet

...Well I shall now quote Dr Marcia Angell, Dr Richard Horton and Dr Richard Smith. Editors of, respectively, the New England Journal of Medicine, the Lancet and the British Medical Journal. The three highest impact factor journals in medical research.

‘It is simply no longer possible to believe much of the clinical research that is published, or to rely on the judgement of trusted physicians or authoritative medical guidelines. I take no pleasure in this conclusion, which I reached slowly and reluctantly over my two decades as editor of the New England Journal of Medicine.’ Marcia Angell.

‘The case against science is straightforward: much of the scientific literature, perhaps half, may simply be untrue. Afflicted by studies with small sample sizes, tiny effects, invalid exploratory analyses, and flagrant conflicts of interest, together with an obsession for pursuing fashionable trends of dubious importance, science has taken a turn towards darkness.’ Richard Horton

‘The poor quality of medical research is widely acknowledged, yet disturbingly the leaders of the medical profession seen only minimally concerned about the problems and make no apparent efforts to find a solution.’ Richard Smith

Who, in a position of power, will finally wake up and realise that the vast database of medical research stinks of bias and manipulation. Who can we call upon to take up the gigantic and painful task of clearing out the Augean stables?

[tex]

Blueberry,

Thank you for that link. That article is right on target. As I have complained for years, the medical research industry (and most scientific research in general, these days) is badly broken, and it will never be repaired until enough people are willing to step up and acknowledge the problem and vow to help to do something about it.

Tex

[Blueberry]

Tex,

I know and have seen you harping on the current health care industry and it's practices. It would be nice if the system could be cleaned up and straighten out, but I'm personally afraid many within it likely take the view that it is filled with good paying jobs, making it best not to rock the boat. In the end it is up to us patients to look out for ourselves.

[tex]

That's the scary part. Unless consumers (of health care services) insist on changes, they will never be made. And that's not likely to happen anytime soon, because most people in the general population, given a choice between cleaning up their diet and popping a pill to cure their ills, will choose the pill every time.

Tex

[HappyBird]

Unless consumers (of health care services) insist on changes, they will never be made. And that's not likely to happen anytime soon, because most people in the general population, given a choice between cleaning up their diet and popping a pill

Tex

Tex...........

I have fought the system, complained about unsatisfactory service, asked questions and most of the time I could be speaking to a brick wall. I have written to the PM and Minister for Health. Things are changing slowly.

Most people using health services don't know what they should be getting and whether the treatment is quality treatment or something less. Most are loathe to complain in case of reprisals. Staff won't complain for fear of losing their jobs and being targeted by peers in the industry. Whistle Blowing has ruined lives - people are terrified.

[Erica P-G]

This is why I will also visit here often (just like many others) being understood and interested in is the hardest part of this whole picture.

I sure appreciate the support, and it sure it hard to watch others 'not get it'.

I have made a vow with myself (and this is gonna be hard) that unless someone blatantly asks me how I am doing, and starts to talk about something specific and it leads to information that I may have hidden within myself I do not plan to share anything about myself to those closest to me unless I have a dire need for a hospital.

I do have a feeling of empowerment "Gabes"...when you know just enough to be dangerous is how I feel right now, lol. I have healed, it has been phenomenal, I didn't think I was going to get to this point ever again. Not to say I don't have 'niggles' I do...but I am at the tweaking stage already...I've worked hard to get to this point. Instead of feeling like a party inside I have felt like a squashed bug, because no one is interested now.

This is another aspect of doing something as an individual and not a team competition...right now I feel like I did while showing horses - I am doing this for myself...Period, my own satisfaction, learning, health and any other way a person wants to look at it, and no one else. The only way I look at it as a Team right now is all the wonderful people who take an arm, lend an ear or give a shoulder to rest on...Right Here, it is the best feeling in the world.

Love you All,
Erica

[HappyBird]

Bless You Erica.......

Well done for your hard earned recovery & remission!

Can I just ask..........how long has it taken you to get to the tweaking stage? As you know, I'm just starting out.
Jen