Boy!! A Real Funk Has Got Me By the Arse!!!

[Dee]

I don't know what the heck set this off other than my usual self talk, but I've been all morning. What a meltdown.
Just lots of things built up inside and I feel like I've been hit with a ton of mental !!!!!
This is the month that my sisters and I usually take our 3 sisters get together in Florida, but because of the darn cost of my dental surgery guess who can't go?????
Then what's going on with Jack and he now wants to check out the laproscopic surgery option so another consultation has to be scheduled.. I'm the type that until a final decision is made, my mind goes into overdrive..
My alcoholic son has been on my mind.. No one knows this up until now, but a few months back he came here and was so drunk and verbally, viciously, attacked me!!!!!! Me??? The one that has fought with everything that I have to save him from his own self destruction.. So, unfortunately, I have had to detach myself from him, because it was making me very ill, healthwise!! So devasting for a Mother to have to do!
I guess maybe I've just needed a stress release for a long time!!!!
I know I'm surely by no means dealing with what some of you are, but just getting some of this shi* off my chest helps and know that you understand!!!
Thanks Everyone For Being Here!! I don't have anybody else to share things with!!!

Love You All
Dee~~~~

[MaggieRedwings]

HI Dee,

No better place to unload than here. The longer you keep things bottled up the more they build up and when the dam bursts, the water flows. I am sorry to hear about your son and have been down that road in a bit of a different way but luckily, Frank's son did an absolute turnaround and got the help he needed, with dad's help, and is living a wonderful life now. I hope you son gets the help to see him through this.

The members of this board are my family and you can let it all out when you need to. Most of us have had to at one time or another.

Love and Take Care, Maggie

[starfire]

Ah Dee,
Sure wish we could do more than be a sounding board but we are always here for that.

I can surely understand what you must be feeling. Our children can really tear us up. Also, the health problems of your husband and the uncertainty of his treatment AND having to give up something you really needed due to finances......I can understand all of that.......and you certainly do need a place to blow off some pressure.

I can tell you are not a whiner and you try to be upbeat as much as possible, but sometimes it gets to be too much.

Big

Love, Shirley

[kate_ce1995]

Sorry to hear you are having troubles right now. You do have a lot on your plate.

Remember too, that we re-set our clocks this week too. I'm sure that has not helped you. I know I am more tired and feeling kinda down as a result.

You'll get through it. Tell us all about it as you want. Keeping it inside just makes matters worse.
Katy

[tex]

Awwww, Dee,

I'm so sorry you're having such a bad day - I can feel the depth of your pain when I read your post. We all feel overwhelmed once in a while, and the pressures can really get out of hand. You've certainly had much more than your fair share of problems to have to deal with.

I think you're right - this is probably your farewell tribute to all that unnecessary baggage that you've been having to carry around, and now that you're confronting the issues, and getting them out of your system, they will no longer be able to dominate your thoughts, and spoil your mood.

We all love you, and share your pain, as though it were our own. Tomorrow will be a much brighter day, if you'll let the sun shine in.

Love ya,
Wayne

[barbaranoela]

Dee------I know just how U feel---and I am so very sorry----but comes the time --as it is called *tough-Love*--YES--it is devastating----heart breaking---

When Lynn was 18/19 ---I did the same detachment---I stopped her in her tracks and said---OUT!!!!!! No job---stayed out for days @ a time!!
I always wondered when the police would be @ my door giving me that dreaded news!!!
She had pushed my buttons too many times and as U---I was destroying my being---thus it had to be done--

And U know what Dee----Lynn and her girlfriend--wandered around and then it hit them----*this isnt the way to live life*---

Ginny and Lynn turned their lives around---and U have read several of my posts--as to how Lynn turned out----of course still being a pain in the *arse*(as U say so nicely) but a great mother and I have to say I am PROUD of what she did for herself---
I hope your son can *understand* what he is doing to himself and all that care for him--

Hang in Dee----I been there---done that---UNDERSTAND totally--

We LUVE U--
Barbara

[Mars]

my friend!

What a mess............no better place to unload than here though! I can only imagine the heartache you are feeling right now - one problem at a time can do that to you but you are dealing with many!

Hugs are in order and they're flying to your part of Ohio right now - hope you caught them and wrapped our arms around you for comfort!

Check your PM............

Love,
Mars

[Dee]

Thank You All For Caring!
I wish it was that easy with my son. He has been it's his way or no way since he's been 15!!! Many visits to our home by the police and many stays in Juvie centers... Now, that he is an adult it's the real deal, off to jail. The event that I've never come to grips with and prayed that the wake up call had finally came was when we got woke up at 2am one early morning by a sheriff, telling us that our son had been in an accident and that he rolled his vehicle 2 times and was in ICU! I vividly remember starting to hyper ventilate and uncontrollably start to pace.. He recuperated and went right back to the poison! It's just not him involved here. I have 2 beautiful grand children that he has fathered and their mother is a real titch... She likes the poison too!! The only thing that I can do when I have them is let them know that this is and always will be a safe and secure and loving environment.. CS is a bunch of bull, so that isn't an option. Jack & I have probably put out 30 grand so that our grandbabies have a roof over their heads, utilities, clothes and food in their little bellies. But, we had to draw the line because we can't afford to keep 2 households...
Then Jack got 2 calls last Friday from my son becasue their toilet was clogged!! Well, my little darling Caleb, who is 2,put a soap on a rope down the toilet!!!! I have to admit that had me ROTFLMAO!! Like, you go my little Caleb!!!!! Then the last call was to see if Jack could cash a check that a friend had wrote out for the titches car payment. Mind you, no jobs, but get some sucker to co-sign for a 2005 vehicle!! ENUFFFF!!!
What I'm getting at is that during any of the phone calls to Jack was he ever asked how he is doing!!!!! NEVER!!!!! So, that kinda got the ball rolling with my arse being in a funk!!!
Yes, I am tired and burnt out with dealing with one thing after another and no time to regroup!!
If anybody should be drinking it outta be me!!!!!!
Okay!! Got a little bit more out of my system!!!

Love You All
Dee

[annie oakley]

Know exactly how you feel....had a meltdown myself not long ago. We are family here. And while most of us can only offer a shoulder and an ear. we do care Dee. Unload all you want.......Hope you feel better soon. Love Oma

[JJ]

We're here for you Dee.....I have been trying to keep my chin up, but I am due for a real myself! Please know you're not alone...love, JJ

[Liz]

A damn good howl usually does you the world of good Dee. It might not solve any problems but it can sure make you feel better. No one in the world can hurt us as much as our own children & I know how that feels. It can be devastating. All you can do is concentrate on your grandchildren & leave son etc. to sort out their own problems. They make their own bed & they have to lie on it. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Hang in there & vent all you want or need to here.

Love

Liz