Tough weekend...

[CAMary]

Friday was good - I had my post-op with the surgeon - they got clean margins this time, so that is good! Still more debate with pathologists, so it is being sent to UCSF - apparently it is borderline between atypical cells and cancer cells - but there were only a few - and it is irrelevant to my status since in any case they are *gone*! Apparently it needs to be resolved so pathology can do a final "sign off" on the official results.

I also told my surgeon I appreciated what a good job he did with my scar etc.. but *honestly* I want these puppies OFF - I need to get on with my life w/o a cloud of worry over my head. I explained my reasoning, and he was very supportive - I my surgeon!! He always notices that I've done my *homework* and comments on the quality of my questions. So...I have a consult next week with a plastic surgeon to get the dirt on the procedure...It really hit hime that this is happening to me this weekend. There is no *good* choice - only the right choice for me.

I called my brothers to tell them what was going on. That was very hard. But I feel better now that they know! Still haven't told the kids yet. I think we will wait until I have the surgery scheduled. Then we can tell them what is happening, what the plan is to fix it etc...I figure they will be better able to handle concrete information - but that is another conversation I am NOT looking forward to!

Also having a family crisis - I have a 30 y.o. brother w/Down Syndrome. He is pretty high-functioning, but recently has been having some issues with depression and had an episode last week with very irrational behavior. He's been having some medical concerns, so my parents spent a night with him in the ER. They did a full workup, so they could rule out things like a brain tumor - but still have some more tests to do - he is also seeing a psychiatrist. The main reason I called my brothers was to let them know about all of this, as I feel it is a big burden for my mom, mostly. I ended up accidentally telling about me...but I'm glad it is done.

My middle kid's birthday was Friday. Luckily he is easy to please, since I've been such a crappy mom lately! He had his 2 best friends sleep over. They watched movies and played games and had pizza. Fortunately, it involved no planning or organization!

It was hard having the kids home all last week for Spring Break - we didn't have our usual busy routine to keep my mind occupied! Back to "normal" today - but I've got one home w/ pinkeye *sigh* - it's always something! My fabulous husband noticed I was in a real funk yesterday and sent me out for some "retail therapy"...

I guess bad days are to be expected..this too shall pass...

Thanks for listening!

Mary

[harvest_table]

Hi Mary,

I haven't been around much lately but have been following your progress as you navigate through this very challenging journey with your family and friends. Thanks for sharing.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Keeping you all in our prayers.

My fabulous husband noticed I was in a real funk yesterday and sent me out for some "retail therapy"...

Right on, what a guy! Every incredible woman deserves an incredible partner.

Better days ahead.

Love,
Joanna

[barbaranoela]

Mary-----

I can"t Imagine what feelings are running thru U---yet I do feel U made the right decision--it's your body and with all the investigation U did--U know U are going the right way--

Sorry to hear about your brother----yes, as U said bad dayz do happen --
and they do pass----

Good thinking on his part---did U take a stroll to the mall and enjoy yourself?

Heck Mary---I wish I had some better words to say to U---I feel like I am blubbering like an idiot---
Take care--and know my prayers are with U and all your family---

luve Barbara

[starfire]

Mary, my thoughts are with you. I wish I could help. I'm so glad you have a doctor you can relate to and will talk things over with you.



Love, Shirley

[annie oakley]

Prayers and thoughts are with you. And by the way, you are not a crappy Mom. There's a limit one can get to and still be the perfect mom ya know. your kids will understand, they love you. Love Oma

[JJ]

Hi Mary...I'm thinking of you too...hang in there...JJ

[MaggieRedwings]

Morning Mary,

I seems you have taken this in hand and made the decision that will give you the best health and peace of mind. My prayers are with you and I know 2 women who have made the same decision and never looked back. They are totally happy with taking the situation in hand.

Love, Maggie