up date about Kristyn and me

[barbaranoela]

Well she is very unhappy being at college----believe this or not---she does not drink ---nor drags on a joint--she always hated when her friends at High did---and appears that party time is all the time and she will not go cus of the going ons---and the flute sectionmeets 3 times a week to practice and then after that they all go their separate ways???
so according to Kristyn---she didnt Xpect hullablue all the time but she is ALONE??? Lynn told her *go to the get-togethers(party--LYNN--get it--is what I said) and then to Kris --stay a bit and then leave--
Kris is coming home for the weekend--so gramps will have a chat with her--Kris chats away with Lou--so that should be good---

Derma--- spot removed 3 years ago---and has been crusting--- was removed--is shown to be related to a pre cancerous issue---so I have this stuff to apply on the open wound(matter of fact I might stick a PEARL there---cus I luve pearls---

Doug is in a terrible state--he had to put his dog Cassidy to sleep and he is very depressed---he is an animal lover and she was his PAL when he moved to AZ.
So talking to him depressed me---

Boring---I know but I had nothing else to say--
so a good day to all--

Gloomy Gus

[Babsey]

Barb,

That is sad about Kristyn. My daughter (also a non-party-goer) was all set to go away to college in August and it was only an hour away and two weeks before we were going to take her to the dorm, she decided to stay home and go to community college for two years. I guess she felt like she wasn't ready, or maybe just afraid of the un-known. I'm happy with her decision but I feel badly about Kristyn.
Things will get better!

I also own and love my two horses, two dogs, two cats and even the fish.
So that is sad about Cassidy.

Let us know when you have some good news!!!!

[tex]

Hi Barbara,

It's been so long since I've been to collage, that I have no idea what the normal routine is these days. For all I know, all universities might be that way, but considering what it costs to attend college these days, it's hard to believe that all students, and all universities have a "party all the time" attitude. Maybe she picked the wrong one. She might want to use the "grapevine" to do some investigating, to see what the "mindset" might be at other institutions of higher learning.

That problem is probably related to the choice of the particular area of study. When I was at the College of Engineering at UT, neither I nor my roommates wasted time on "partying", (except maybe occasionally on weekends or holidays) - we simply didn't have time for that stuff. On the other hand, most of the other disciplines, (liberal arts, business, etc.), had something going on most of the time, (because they had more time on their hands, and a different attitude about why they were there).

It's always rough to lose an animal friend, but the reality is that unless you pick a tortoise, or another species that lives a long time, death has to be accepted as an inevitable reality - it's a natural part of the life cycle. IMO, none of us has the opportunity to enjoy this life nearly as long as we should, especially good dogs.

Please don't be depressed. We all have to spend some time reflecting on death, and it's implications, but dwelling on it benefits no one. It's a beautiful day, and the world is filled with beauty. Forget about the bad stuff, and focus on the beauty. Your mind and your body will thank you.

Luve,
Galahad

[Andi]

Barbara,
I have not been on this forum long, less than a week. I am guessing Kristyn is your daughter? If not, please forgive me.
Although in college I did sometimes go out and "party", i also was not wanting to do that all of the time. I spent time volunteering for organzations whose issues I supported. It could be a political campaign, it could be an environmental organization, it could be almost anything.
I did my undergraduate work in Tucson and I took a training program to take people on nature walks to teach them about the desert ecosystem (although my major was entomology,my minor was evoluntionary ecology and the work on explaining desert plant and animal adaptations to their enivronment fit right into it). I met so many people doing these things, people who were as passionate about issues as I was. Not to say they did not want a beer or two from time to time, but they did not do heavy partying.
There are tons of clubs on campus these days, many more than when I was in college. If Krystan has interests which I am sure she does, there is a club for probably any interest. There are book clubs, chess clubs, athletic clubs,sewing clubs, nature clubs, etc... I am willing to bet there is a club for almost any interest she has. It is sad to see youth squandering the chance to have an education on nothing more than drinking. You are lucky Kristyn does not see it that way. Many young people who cannot afford college would give anything to have the chance, and to see those who DO have the chance wasting it just makes me sad.
As far as Cassidy dying Doug should look at it this way. Cassidy was born and would have had a life whether he adopted her/him or not. Cassidy would have died whether Doug adopted him/her or not. Cassidy was lucky to end up with Doug who gave him the best life possible. I am sure Cassidy was so happy in life. Doug can feel at peace knowing he loved with all of his heart an animal who loved him as well. It will take time to heal, but I think there is probably another animal that can benefit from love and a good life that will be waiting when he is ready. Nothing feels better than knowing you loved a living being and both of you benefited from it. Doug has lots more love to give and though he will never forget Cassidy, his love should be shared with another special animal.
I am sorry you are feeling sad. I am sure you know you are not alone, your friends and family in your personal life and those of us on this forum are thinking of you.

[RUBYREDDOG]

Hi Barbara, My daughter was the same way. She knew she was going to be a CPA from the 9th grade. She wanted no part of the party time life. She was very focused and wanted to learn and study to achieve her goal. So, she lived at home while she attended U.C.L.A. She always has received straight A's in school. She's just one of those "overachiever" types.

My son was just the opposite, couldn't wait to get to San Diego state (the biggest party school around here). He barely scraped by with a degree in psychology. He's now in the home loan business.

So we are all different. Count your blessings that she is the way she is.

Hotrod

[Courtney]

Barbara,

I teach First-Year Composition at a university, so I get to know many first-year students and am able to try to keep my finger on the pulse of student life. I can tell you that what she's going through is not at all unusual, and also that university culture has changed considerably even since I was a first-year about ten years ago. A lot of research is being done into why this is happening, and the blame is being spread around: Internet, technology in general, helicopter parenting, etc....the list goes on...but the upshot is that we're seeing a trend of prolonged adolescence, and students who are more mature sometimes do feel isolated. I myself had that problem for part of my first year, but I found a group of students by second semester that I could relate to.

Tex, I certainly agree with you about the cost of college and the motivation for being there. I've brought that up to my students many times when they were having "high school moments". Their response has been that they "have" to go to college--it's not necessarily their choice. Their parents are making them, they have to to get the job they want, etc. One thing we're seeing is that college, for many groups of people, is now considered to be like high school, albeit a very expensive high school. However, universities are also under the gun right now to "prove" their worth, and with the cost of student loans, I can't blame parents and students for feeling that way. I think that the next ten years will bring some pretty interesting developments to higher ed (that and the stress are reasons I'm thinking of getting out), especially given the state of the economy.
I could go on, but that's just my two cents.

Barbara, universities have many resources for your granddaughter's situation. I know that first-year students often don't have much choice regarding which dorm they're in, but many universities have "themed" dorms that might be an option for her next year (i.e. Green Dorms, Wellness Dorms, etc...some even have Dry Dorms). Also, there is probably an office of first-year experience or something like that that deals specifically with first-year issues. And most universities have student counseling services (usually free), which offer counseling on issues from homesickness to choice of major. Also, some of this extensive partying is probably in response to the fact that a lot of these kids are away from home for the first time and have the opportunity. It will probably calm down next semester, although it won't go away. But some students will have partied too hard and dropped out due to that, and many of them will have realized that they need to reprioritize lest that happen to them, too. Fall Semester and Spring Semester are entirely different animals.

Hope that helps some

Courtney

[tex]

Wow!

I have but one word for the responses to this topic - Terrific!

There's a lot of valuable insight here, and this is a prime example of why this is such an awesome family - we are here for each other, aren't we.

Tex