Reflections of 2008

[jodibelle352]

OMG! At this exact time last year I was waiting to have my gallbadder removed which I will celebrate it's removal of the 9th of Jan. LOL

It took from Aug.2007 until Feb.2008 to finally get a diagnosis of CC. Once my gallbladder had been removed, after having MRI's, MRSP's, exrays and God only knows how many stool samples including an upper GI scope yet NOTHING was abnormal.

Emotionally, medically and physically I was exhausted. In May of 2007 I weighed 153lbs. By Jan.of 2008 I weighed in at 90lbs it took 8 months before anyone in the medical field figured out I truly was sick and gave what I had, a name; Colagenous Colitis. Hmmmmmmm what a relief to find out what I already knew. I did not know what was wrong with me but I diffinately knew "something" which still had no name was wrong. LOL

I had become so depressed over several months of test after test, stool samples by the dozen and OMG! all the blood work. Each and every test except for my gallbladder creating pure torture for me showed absolutely nothing. Finally the depression caught up with me and I truly thought I was loosing my mind. That I actually was FINE but was making myself sick. All my test showed "nothing" so I must be making myself sick it was the only logical explination I could come up with that made any sense.

As I've already mentioned I received the DX's of CC in Feb. of 2008 but didn't find my way to this site until June of this year. It was quite by accident, I was surfing the web and I hit the JACKPOT! A little piece of this world of ours that knew and understood what I was feeling and truly cared.

I want all our "Oldie but Goodies" as well as all our 's to know that mentally and emotionally I bounced back and forth from "acceptance" and "denial" for a very very long time. There was NO WAY I could possibly have received a "double whammy" of two seperate desease with NO CURE! If I could eat anything and everything I wanted before than I certainly was going to be able to eat what I wanted to again! Going on a GF diet looked scary and my biggest question of all was "How in the heck was I ever going to gain back any weight eating what was on this CRAZY diet?" So I bounced from acceptance and denial with much pain as well as continuous D.

What is the moral of having this kind of mindset? "When in doubt (of what you put in your mouth) chicken out!" LOL Or pay dearly for it later.

Myself esteem was none existant. Had NO life. Going anywhere was NOT an option, my home was my SAFE place and this chick wasn't leaving the coop unless absolutely neccessary. NO WAY - NO HOW!

I've accomplished alot since I found all of you here. I've found and made "life long" friendships which I will treasure dearly.

I also learned that I was NO LONGER alone. That other's were fighting the same battle I was and were and always will be here to help me.

It took me a very long time to come to the realization that medication wasn't going to cure me and then I would be okie dokie to eat what I wanted. I've faced the fact that I truly need to stay GF. Oh how I've fought the idea of ridding myself of gluetin. All Newbie's, try not to be as "bull headed" as I was because "acceptance" is truly an important place you need to be.

I know I've been rattling on and on tonight but I needed to tell everyone just how important each and everyone of you have to my life since June. I mean that from the bottom of my heart and I can say without any hesitation that "I Love You".

I'm still not in remission but that's okay. Each and everyday the D stays away is an awesome day. I've been doing the happy dance for at least 6 - 8 weeks now because my stools are finally solid. CELEBRATION! Maybe I am a bit crazy because who in their right mind would celebrate taking and having a normal poop?

Last but not least, I made a decission to take back my life and if I have questions about what a physician recommends or tells me to take for medication doesn't mean they are RIGHT! As I've been told and have come to know is that many times drugs are prescribed for all your symptoms and if by some chance you show another symptom another drug is added and then OMG! You're close to over medicating yourself just because you didn't say "STOP" "NO MORE"!!!

My weight is truly coming back up and believe me I am excited that I now weigh 99lbs! After weighing in yesterday and going over my chart with my Family Physician we've seen a pattern starting to form. My weight gain is slow from 90lbs. to 92lbs. then I saw 95lbs. and 5 weeks ago I climbed to 98lbs and yesterday I FINALLY reached 99lbs. It's taken me over a year to finally start gaining my weight back even while doing my best to stay GF. I am GAINING and NOT LOOSING anymore. I'm actually maintaining what few pounds I'm gaining.

I'm going to stop here before I put each and everyone of you to sleep. LOL

You have all made the past 6 months of my life a reason to "get up", "go on" and "look forward" too.

Thank You Everybody for being part of my life.
Love and God Bless Each and Everyone of You:
Jodi

[barbaranoela]

Jodi-----my filled with Happy Tears as I read your wonderful story of what your life had been like and how U forged ahead and found that *wellness* road---and that U are staying on it---

U surely are an inspiration to each and every one of us----who have been there---and fought every battle that U did to get answers!!! yup---we all celebrated a normal POOP--it was like winning the Jackpot---

I wish U the healthiest of a New Year with many more to follow--

Keep us updated as U progress-----

Thank U for your post---cus thru U others will fight to get better---

Happy New Year with continued health--

luve Barbara

[G'ma Mary]

Jodie;

Great reflection on this past year. Sometimes I think people like myself are not much help to "newbies" because they see us as "stable". I know when I first was diagnosed and trying to figure out how to regain "normality", I saw some on the Board as being so stable I wasn't sure they could remember what I was going through. Today, I KNOW we remember, but when those "newbies" read what you just wrote, they can relate to you.

THANK YOU!! and Great Health to you in 2009!!

G'ma Mary

[jodibelle352]

Barbara & G'Ma:

Thank You for your love and support. For some reason today has been a total day of reflecting on what I'm truly trying to put in my past and what I need achieve in goals.

After thinking about how of "this" started it finally CLICKED!
I am NOT cured but I am doing WELL. Excuse my cursing here but I'm doing a hell of alot better than I was 6 months ago.

I mean every word I posted in my reflections. Like you I thought "I can't help anyone when I can't even help myself." Then I read a reply to one of my post from a Newbie; JoAnn and she made me cry. She actually related to my posted message and found something I said that she could hold on to.

It humbles me and makes me so grateful for what I've received and now I truly feel that my way of "giving back" is different from Tex and all his knowledge of medical info and terms. Dee and her recipes to make eating fun again. Both of you for being there for each of us Newbies who have attached themselves to this board as a "life line".

Happy New Year!
Thank You for all your Love!
Love and God Bless:
Jodi

[tex]

Jodi,

Yes, I certainly remember what you were like when you first came here, and I can remember worrying about the damage that had been done to your self esteem, almost as much as I worried about your health, and I have to admit that on a few occasions, you seemed so depressed, that I wondered if you were going to be able to beat the odds.

You've come a long way, in a short time, and while you may not yet be quite where you want to be, as far as your health is concerned, you've made enough progress that it's obvious that you can do it, and I have no doubt that you will do it - you'll get your life back. And when you do, you'll be stronger than ever, because you will have faced almost insurmountable odds, and won. You will be able to look back and recognize that you have personally lived through the ultimate "reality show", and managed to come out on top.

Your "game plan" is obviously working, so all that remains to do now, is to see it through, and maybe fine tune it, here and there. I sincerely hope that your program continues to work for you, until you arrive at where you want to be, with your life.

Thanks for the inspiration.

Love,
Tex

P S And shame on you, Jodi, for making me wipe away a few tears, too, with your last post.

[jodibelle352]

Sorry Tex! My Bad! But I really do love you and didn't mean to make you shed a few tears.......................You Old Softy! LOL

Happy New Year with many blessings headed your way for 2009!

I've been knocked down, stomped on and even drug through the mud. It took me awhile to get my "poop" together and come to realize that "God DON'T make no JUNK!"

Love and God Bless:
Jodi

[tex]

Happy New Year Jodi, and may 2009 not only meet your highest expectations, but also surprise you with unexpected benefits.

Love,
Tex

[Dee]

Jodi!
You have touched so many lives on this board and will continue to with others that will find us, with this inspirational post.
You have proven that some way, some how, you will find the strength to fight whatever health battle that you face.
Truly an inspiration to all of us..
I Wish You A New Year Of Health, Love, Joy, & Peace.....


Love
Dee~~~

[Gloria]

Jodi,
Thank you for writing such a beautiful and inspiring post. You've done a lot of reflecting and have decided that you will be victorious in this battle. And I have no doubt that you will accomplish that goal.

It's so great to read that you are gaining weight again. That alone is a fantastic accomplishment. You have shown all of us that we can do it!

Gloria

[MaggieRedwings]

HI Jodi,

My, my have you grown in the time you have been in the family and all for the good. Your post, which I am just getting to since I was away, is an inspiration to all. Made me reflect on a few things too. And yes, I wiped away the tears too as I read it. Keep up the great work and by next week you will break the 100 pound mark.

Love, Maggie

[Mars]

Jodi,

It's always fun to read your posts, you inspire and prove that "when there's a will, there's a way"! You inspire all of us to keep on keepin on no matter what life throws your way! YOU GO GIRL!!!

Here's to a wonderful, healthy and joyous :happynewyear2009:


Mars

[angy]

That was quite beautiful jodi and emotional too. Im so glad you have been able to express your feelings to your online family...I wish to say well done in persevering and tackling your on going battles..i know you are going to see light at the end off that tunnel...When you reach your ideal weight your going to have to go shoppin!! for new clothes to treat yourself you deserve it...

god bless ya xx

[JLH]

GREAT post, Jodi, very inspiring and hopeful.

It's amazing to see all the newbies who join this online family find hope and strength from the site. All of a sudden, they find people who have been and are going through what they are. They no longer are alone. The GF information is revolutionary, not even known by most doctors. Best of all, IT WORKS.

Good for you for hanging in and succeeding. All the very best in 2009.

Love,