update from me

Polly · Post by **Polly** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:08 am

Hi, Good Buddies!

So sorry I haven't been around more. I do try to check the Board daily but have not really had the time to post.

My stepmom, age 93, died last month and my Mom, age 90, was put on hospice services 2 weeks ago. She is having a lot of pain, which has been difficult to watch, but hospice is pretty good about increasing the pain meds. Mom seems to be going downhill fairly quickly, so I have been visiting every day to maximize our time together while she is still conscious. Two days ago a nephew died at age 46. He was perfectly fine (working, running, etc.) 3 mo. ago. Was diagnosed with the most aggressive form of stomach cancer and went downhill rapidly. He left a wife and two young kids.

Sooo, I have been in a concentrated period of sadness and mourning. It's life, of course, and I am keeping my perspective, I think. It's just more difficult when everything hits at one time.

I am trying to eat regularly and correctly (very important for MCers) and get enough sleep. But even if I get 10 hours of sleep I wake up bone-tired. Par for the course, I guess.

Hope to be back soon.

Love,

Polly

kscolorado · Post by **kscolorado** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 10:02 am

It does seem like everything happens in clumps. Sorry for all that you are going through I will keep you in my thoughts.

Gas Bag · Post by **Gas Bag** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 12:04 pm

It's so hard to watch our parents grow old and get sick and die. And then the added shock of your nephew getting so sick, so fast, and dying.

Stay strong. My sympathies to you and yours.

Deb

Post by **tex** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 12:40 pm

Dear Polly,

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with so many overwhelming issues at the same time. Fate seems to do it's best to be overbearing, at times. I hope that your life can return to some semblance of normal, soon.

Incidentally, you mentioned in a PM that you were having to use someone else's computer, because yours had a virus, and you couldn't seem to get rid of it. I had that happen to me a couple of years ago. I would remove the virus, (or so I thought), and every time I re-booted the computer, the virus would be back. I finally checked my start-up files, and found that the virus was somehow re-listing an installation program, (to reinstall itself), into the startup files, while I used the computer, during the day. Of course, since all programs listed in the startup files will be executed upon startup, this caused it to be reinstalled every time I booted the computer. I could remove the installation program from the startup files, of course, and prevent a re-installation, (provided that I remembered to remove it before I shut the computer down), but if I forgot to do that, the virus would be back. I tried all sorts of popular anti-virus programs, but none of them was ever able to find the source of the problem. I manually searched all of the likely hiding places for viruses, myself, but I never found it, either. I finally gave up and wiped the hard drive clean - I repartitioned the drive, re-formatted it, and reinstalled the operating system, and all the application programs, and I haven't had a problem since. These days, I use the latest version of FireFox, for my browser, and I use the "No-Script" browser extension, (or add-on), so that no web site can add any script to my computer, without my permission.

I'm thinking of you, and sending my best, dear friend.

Much love,

Tex

Post by **Rosie** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 1:36 pm

How sad, Polly. It must be especially hard to deal with a young man with a young family suddenly getting sick and being carried off so quickly. With parents in their 90's, it seems more like the natural way life goes, although it's always painful to deal with the final decline. My 92 year old mother has just given up, and gets weaker each time I see her, even though she doesn't have any particluar health problems. I pray that your mother will peacefully make her final journey.

Rosie

JLH · Post by **JLH** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:18 pm

Polly, I'm so sorry to hear all the bad news. It sure is hard to handle any one thing but especially hard getting hit with everything at once.
As my Grandmother used to say, "Do the best." I really don't remember my Grandmother saying it but my Mom always says it and credits her (my Dad's Mother).

Love,

starfire · Post by **starfire** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:49 pm

Polly, I'm truly sorry to hear that so much has hit you within such a short period of time. Even though we may be prepared for the loss of a loved one, it isn't easy by any means. Doesn't matter if it's sudder or prolonged, it's still hard. Also, I don't know how to prepare for the loss of such a young person as your nephew. I lost a young cousin many years ago and it still doesn't seem real when I think about it.

I hope you can continue to try and eat correctly and rest as much as you possibly can.

Love, Shirley

Gloria · Post by **Gloria** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:53 pm

Polly,

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with so many losses. I hope you will be able to find the strength to deal with the sadness. Losing a parent is never easy, no matter how old they are. It's hard to accept that your nephew could have been taken from his family at such a young age. My symphathies are with you.

Gloria

mbeezie · Post by **mbeezie** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 4:56 pm

Polly,

So sorry to hear everything is hitting at once. Be sure to take care of yourself during this difficult time. I lost my mom to colon cancer 5 years ago and it was so difficult to watch her be in pain and to just wait until she was ready. I read Final Gifts when she was in hospice and it really helped me relate to her during those final weeks.

Take care - I'll be thinking of you,

Mary Beth

hazel · Post by **hazel** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:35 pm

So sorry to hear about what you and your family are going through. I'm glad you can spend time with your Mom now. Hospice was very good to both my parents.
:bigbighug:

ant · Post by **ant** » Sat Aug 29, 2009 5:22 am

Dear Polly

So sorry to hear what you are going through with such sadness happening all at once.

I am in the UK just now looking after my 88 year old mother, who is still physically healthy but getting very demented, while my sister and her husband deal with the death of his father.

The best that anyone can hope for is not too much physical or mental suffering and to spend some quality time with loved ones while it is possible.

That makes what happened to your nephew particularly sad.

Wishing you and yours all the very best, ant

starfire · Post by **starfire** » Sat Aug 29, 2009 6:47 am

ant wrote: The best that anyone can hope for is not too much physical or mental suffering and to spend some quality time with loved ones while it is possible.

Ant, you are so right on that one...................

Really sorry about your Mother, too.

Love, Shirley

barbaranoela · Post by **barbaranoela** » Sat Aug 29, 2009 9:19 am

Polly so very sorry for all that has befallen U and your family---

My prayers are with U all~~~~

Luve Barbara

Pat · Post by **Pat** » Sat Aug 29, 2009 7:25 pm

Polly,

I am so sorry for your losses and for your mom. This must be a very difficult time for you. I will keep all in my prayers.

Pat

Alice · Post by **Alice** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:32 pm

Hi Polly,

I haven't been here for awhile, but I do stop sometimes to lurk and today I saw your message. I'm sorry for this very difficult, sad time you are passing through. About 4 years ago, both my mom and my dad started a period of steep decline and died within 6 months of each other. I bring this up only to say that I know what it's like to travel a similar road.

Thinking of you.

Love,
Alice