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It's been quite sometime since I've been on and believe me when I tell all of you "It is not because I've forgotten anyone." The family here have been my "life line" but for the past several weeks I have felt it was time to see if I was ready to handle things without being a burden to others. IOW......I truly needed to see if I could handle this world on my own and solving the every day issues on my own 2 feet. For those who don't know me I have spent over a year leaning on my family here to help me address issues because I was not strong enough, emotionally, physically,medically and mentally to handle anything on my own. 
Going away from home even for a doctor's apt. was a severe issue of fear and increased my stess level nearing a panic attack. It was safer to stay home. At times it was easier just to wallow in self pity (yes... family; self pity!) It was so much easier to be on the boards constantly complaining and letting others do for me what I needed to learn to do for myself.
Several weeks ago I made a decission. I don't know yet if it was a good or bad one but I want each and everyone of you that it has become a real blessing for me. One that's become an 'eye opening' experience for me.
I am now able to share with all of you photo's that I would NEVER have shared with you in June of 2008.
This first one is a photo of David and I together in October of 2007 before I was diagnosed:
In this photo I weighed 84lbs. one of my lowest weights at the onset of my illness with CC. I was so imbarrassed I couldn't even stand to look at myself in a mirror without crying. I would turn off the lights in the bedroom not even allowing my husband to see what my body looked like. One night he said in a very loving and caring manner;"Jodi, leave the light on. I don't ever want you to be ashamed to show your body to me. Hiding from me STOPS NOW!"
The next photo you are about to see was taking at David's 50th Class Reunion in August ( Just last month ) 2008.
I am 19lbs heavier with a smile on my face and even out of my comfort zone of my home having a great time with others. WHAT A DIFFERENCE TIME MAKES! LOL
These changes did NOT come easy for me and they did NOT happen over night.
I want my loving PP family to know that even though I have not successfully come off the Entocort that over the past several weeks I have been able to lower my dosage where I am taking 6mgs. every other day and 3mgs along with 2 anti-D pills on the other days. It is my hopes that in another week I will try going to 3mgs. with 2 anti-D meds every day which to me will be a big accomplishment. I have found that as long as I taking the Anti-D meds in conjunction with the Entocort I am not experiencing any BIG D flares.
There is another accomplishment I wish to share with all of you. My God-Child; Jenna Beth is going to be married in October of 2010 and she has asked me to create and make her wedding dress.
I made her Christening Gown as a baby, her First Communion Dress and 3 Prom Dresses for her. Now she has honored me with asking me to create her wedding dress for her very special day. OMG! I can not explain how honored I am to have been asked. Because of my CC and being so sick Jenna was not going to ask me. Then she came over and said;"Aunt Jodi, it has always been my dream that when I got married that you would make my wedding dress. I will understand if you're not up to it but if you feel up to it would you PLEASE do this for me?" Now, how could I tell her no? 
I have joined a Ladies Yarn Group on Tuesday nights at our local library and right now we are knitting and crocheting little hats for infants at local hospitals plus we are making hats for Cancer Patients who have lost their hair during chemo treatments. We use very soft yarns so that the hats do not cause any discomfort for them.
I hope each and everyone of you know just how important these changes in my life have meant to me. I NEVER would have achieved them if it were not for my family here. Being away so long was never meant to avoid anyone nor was it to leave anyone out of my life. I hope you all understand that I truly needed to do this myself and for myself. It was long past due that I stand on my own 2 feet. If I fail I always knew in my heart that I could lean of my extended family but I needed to succeed or fail by myself.
Love and God Bless To All:
Jodi
