2 yrs. Today

jodibelle352 · Post by **jodibelle352** » Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:38 am

Goodmorning PP/Extended Family:
2 yrs. ago today I joined this support group and what a journey it has been for me. I'm thinking there is NOTHING I haven't shared with my family here. You have been here for me through medical issues, emotional depression and also with the death of my husband. I have received so many blessings from all of you; love, support and comfort.
I was doing pretty well on the Pro-Biotics for several weeks until David died and it threw me right into a flare of Big D! Grrrr!!! Went back on the Entocort and am once again maintaining quite well, can't say when I will try going off and going back on the Pro-Biotics to maintain. IMO it seems more reasonable to stay on the Entocort until emotionally I'm a little more stable with David's death.
My Peace Lily is doing very well. It's a beautiful plant and it gives me so much comfort knowing that it came from my family here. Thank You so much for sending it to me. I Love It!
Heartland Hospice has been an amazing support to me. I would advise anyone who may ever find themselves in my position to NOT hesitate having them come into your home. You may think once your loved one has died that hospice then leaves. This is NOT true for Heartland Hospice, I've been told many times;"We're not done with you yet." Someone calls or stops in for a visit at least once a week to check on me and to see how I'm doing. They have been a great support to me and making sure I'm adjusting and emotionally not in trouble.
I've joined a support group they offer that meets every Thursday a.m. Everyone in the group I'm with have all lost spouses within the last 4-5 months so we are all at the same place in our grieving process. It was suggested that I 'think' about attending after having a few severe 'melt downs' that left me emotionally spent. I intend to continue with the group support as it truly is helping me to talk about David wether it causes me to laugh or cry.
I check in on the boards from time to time even if I don't post anything please know that I do enjoy reading the latest post. I know in my heart that my family here understands that right now it's hard for me at times to participate when every time I try to post something I end up in uncontrollable tears. This a.m. however, I'm actually doing very well. Hopefully, it's a sign that I'm getting closer to 'acceptance', if that's ever going to be possible. It's so very hard for me to talk or refer to David in the 'past tense'. Infact using words like: dead & death really bother me alot. I also have found myself getting very angry & upset when I'm classified by the word: Widow! I think I hate hearing that word just as much as hearing someone use the F word!
I'm working very hard to take things easy and one day at a time. I have good days and bad days but I'm at least now feeling that with time this overwhelming feeling that half of me is gone will at some time ease.
Love & God's Blessings To Each of You!
Jodi

Post by **tex** » Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:38 am

Jodi,

The last two years have been filled with a lot of hardship in the way of health issues, and heartbreaking events in your life, and yet there were many triumphs, and many reasons to smile, mostly due to your own hard work, love, and perseverance. You have proven that you are able to handle whatever life brings, but I sincerely hope that for the next two years at least, (and hopefully much longer than that), you can enjoy a period of relative stability, with a minimum of stress, and continually improving health.

Take care of yourself, Jodi - we're always with you in spirit, but you have to take care of your physical needs, yourself.

Love,
Tex

Gabes-Apg · Post by **Gabes-Apg** » Mon Jun 21, 2010 10:18 am

Jodi
thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us.

very pleased to hear you have your support network you are definately in a world where some days are diamonds, and some days are stone.

as tex said, we are with you in spirt, for the diamond days and the stone days.

take care

Stanz · Post by **Stanz** » Mon Jun 21, 2010 10:28 am

Jodi,

Thank you for speaking so openly about how you are doing. It is wonderful that you have a new network of friends to encourage and support you.

Connie

barbaranoela · Post by **barbaranoela** » Mon Jun 21, 2010 4:53 pm

Jodi---it is a help to talk about your sorrows----and U know that David is always by yourside---and somedays---he will let U know----and U will say what a coincidence --there are no coincidenses in hearing from a luved one---tis called a God's Wink----

much luve---Barbara

Joefnh · Post by **Joefnh** » Mon Jun 21, 2010 5:14 pm

Jodi thank you for sharing with us these times in your life, may the good memories carry you forward and give you peace.

Take care Jodi.

-Joe

Gloria · Post by **Gloria** » Mon Jun 21, 2010 5:21 pm

Jodi, it's good to "hear" from you. I'm glad you've found a support group - it will help you manage through the long process of grieving and missing David.

BTW - Happy Anniversary! I can't believe you've been a member for two years already. It's great that Entocort is giving you relief from MC. One less thing to deal with...

Stay in touch when you can.

Love,
Gloria

Mars · Post by **Mars** » Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:14 pm

Jodi,

It's good to hear from you! I'm glad you "D" is again under control.

Remember...............when your heart aches and you feel that tightness in your chest - know that it is your extended family wrapping their arms around your heart to give you gentle hugs and love!

Remember to take care of yourself...........you are important to us!

Love and very gentle hugs,
Mars