Dealing with Diet within Family

[Polly]

Morning!

I saw Gloria's post (in the "Paging Joe" thread) about dealing with diet amid skepticism from family members and thought this topic deserved a thread of its own. I am wondering how others deal with this issue?

I am lucky in that my hubby, for the most part, will eat the way I do. He is not very particular about what he eats and has never been especially fond of breads. And he always points out to me how lucky I am to have "only" MC and not a fatal cancer or whatever. The biggest problem for us is that one of our favorite activities used to be going out to eat. And of course, that is no longer fun for me - it is actually stressful. And the larger the menu choices, the more frustrating, because it is such a reminder of all of those things I CAN'T have. It gets BOOORRRING ordering just a plain slab of meat/fish, a salad minus the cheese/croutons, and a plain baked potato. Ho Hum.

My son is working and in college so is not here much to eat. Like most young folks, he eats a lot of pasta, mac and cheese, and ramen noodles. So we keep a pan and strainer (and dedicated utensils) on the kitchen counter just for his use, so that I won't be contaminated by his food.

Love,

Polly

[JoAnn]

Hi Polly, I, too, have mourned the loss of the pleasure of going out to eat with husband, friends, and family. There's only a couple of restaurants I can go to and not worry. Last month I had lunch with a friend and thought I had ordered safely, but had a reaction later that evening. People do focus on what you can't eat and think we can't eat anything. I tell them that I have basically gone back to eating like my grandparents did, without the bread. I'm lucky that my children are grown and on their own. My dh and I usually eat our main meal of the day for lunch (at work). He works a late 4 day workweek with Fri. off and I'm home a couple of hours before him, so we forage on our own during the week. Last weekend I put a roast, potatoes, and carrots in the crockpot overnight. The next morning, I put them in containers to use for my lunches. We eat our weekend meals together and accomodate my needs and his. We often have a big Sunday dinner when my kids come over and I cook both for them and me. The saddest thing for me is I am the family roll/bread maker. Even though I can't eat the type my family loves anymore, I continue to make them for them and extended family because it became a tradition. I've experimented and have found recipes that I use for myself in my bread machine that I am quite happy with. One thing that I'm not intolerant to is corn (so happy about that). I made some gf/df/ef cornbread today and it tasted wonderful, as good as Marie Callendars . The corn pastas taste the same to me as the wheat pastas I used to eat, maybe better. My dh even agrees on that one. I've replaced butter in my diet with coconut oil and use it as a spread. I've gotten over the fact that it's not "yellow". I react to the other butter substitutes. I've learned to use coconut milk and coconut oil in a lot of things. One thing that has made my life somewhat simpler is Rice Protein Powder. I use the chocolate and mix up a smoothie with rice milk, a banana, frozen strawberries, frozen blueberries, and some cinnamon. I often have this for breakfast or when I get home from work. It's very filling. My family is very supportive and I'm grateful for that. I'm lucky that I mainly just have to worry about me without pressure from others. JoAnn

[Joefnh]

I have missed the ability to go out to dinner as well; it has amazed me these last few months the lack of availability of GF type foods or restaurants that will address this issue

My house is an empty one so day to day compatibility with other tastes is not an issue. With relatives it is another issue; it goes from trying to cook things that I can tolerate to the other extreme of please bring your own foods to dinner as they do not want to deal with it... Yes they actually said that.

Overall this disease has brought with it a multitude of changes which can be handled. but must be embraced first.

--Joe

[mbeezie]

After I got my Enterolab results I decided that my husband and son should be checked. We ALL react to gluten (my son is actually DQ2 so we aren't sure if he's truly celiac or not). I react to soy. My son and I react to dairy and my son also reacts to corn (I believe my son has inherited my mast cell problem). I also have numerous other things I avoid as does my son. It's been quite a challenge to manage everyone's restrictions but after a year of doing it we have gotten it down. I am now back to enjoying cooking and trying new things but it is tiring at times.

We are lucky that we live in such a large metropolitan area because there are more and more options for GF. In fact we have a new restaurant opening this month that is 100% gluten free (The Gs in The Woodlands for those in the Houston area). We don't eat out often but it is a treat to go. The hardest part for us is dealing with my son - he's 10. No matter how hard this is for adults it's 100 times harder for kids. He is mostly very compliant but when it comes to parties or snacks after a baseball game he doesn't always like to be the kid that is different. The other day he had popcorn at a movie and then he pooped his pants - it breaks my heart that he has to go through this so young. It helps me to not feel sorry for myself - I had 47 years of carefree eating and he couldn't even make it out of elementary school.

My sister is GF but the rest of my family thinks we make this stuff up - they just don't get it!

Mary Beth

[tex]

to the other extreme of please bring your own foods to dinner as they do not want to deal with it... Yes they actually said that.

Consider yourself lucky. One of my biggest aggravations is friends and relatives who insist on cooking for me. Trust me - you're much better off bringing your own, than to take a chance on eating something that a well-intentioned friend or relative might serve up. That can be hair-raising while it's happening, and depressing afterwards, when the reaction begins. If you've never been "glutened" that way, you're either the luckiest man in Manchester, or Entocort is doing a superb job of "gluten-proofing" you.

Tex

[Joefnh]

Tex trust me I have been Glutened... Most recently my well meaning neighbor making me a meal before leaving on vacation last week. She proudly proclaimed 'no gluten'... But used soy sauce in the recipe, which has both soy and wheat. I had to delay my vacation by a day so that I was able to travel

Enotcort does not work quite that well.

--Joe

[JLH]

Salad, what's a salad?

Wish I could eat chocolate........

[Gloria]

Joan,

Chocolate is off of my approved list now, too. We can cry in our beer together.

Gloria

[ant]

Dear Polly,

I think, in the main, I am lucky with the way family and (most) friends' reaction to my multiple food intolerances. I get most trouble from restaurants that I have not "trained" to understand what I need. I have recently changed my printed "to the chef" note to say what I CAN eat before what I CANNOT. If they read just a list of "NOs" some give up before finishing the note.

As a bachelor I do not deal with day to day issues at home and I often find friends have someone near to them with a Celiac Dx. I have got into the habit of explaining MC as "the same as Celiac, but in the colon rather the small intestines (and I was not tested in the small intestine so who knows)". So they quickly understand the Gluten free part and that gets me past hurdle one......

But, then I have to say it is not just Gluten, but blaa, blaa, blaa and blaa (you know the list!!) and then some start to roll their eyes and think I am some kind of fusspot. That is when I say I also have to take steroids - which usually shuts them up, because they think.... "steroids - so it must be serious!", which it is.

On the bright side.....my sister's family are all gourmets. They run a wholesale business supplying food to restaurants and her daughter is a prize winning chef in her own right. I have no problem when visiting them because they know all about food and have great real supplies of unprocessed foods in the "shop".

All the best, Ant

[Gabes-Apg]

being on this trip, the stress of eating out is mostly not worth the outcome at the moment. frequently i have skipped dinner as i cant be bothered dealing with the crap.

checking menus, trying to find an option that will work, even with the sheet, explaining NO BUTTER etc, the anxiety of what you will get on the plate, and then eating small amounts and trying to gauge if there is hidden nasties.

being with work colleagues (all men) who can eat anything their meal experience (ordering etc) is affected by my situation which i think i also get a bit unsettled about. on my own it is not soo bad. but if someone at the table orders the same dish as me it takes time to explain that mine is without butter, without sauce and theirs is 'normal'

the language barrier here in france has been a big contributer to the stress

I feel lucky that in australia, and where i live in brisbane there is a vast awareness of GF and other intolerances, and this is evident by the products easily and fairly readily available to us there, and that there are restaurants and cafes that can handle multiple intolerances.

i have enjoyed some lovely meals out (and have had some less than ideal meals out)

when i get home i dont think i will be up to eating out for at least 2 months!

[JoAnn]

Ant wrote:

I often find friends have someone near to them with a Celiac Dx. I have got into the habit of explaining MC as "the same as Celiac, but in the colon rather the small intestines (and I was not tested in the small intestine so who knows)". So they quickly understand the Gluten free part and that gets me past hurdle one.....
But, then I have to say it is not just Gluten, but blaa, blaa, blaa and blaa (you know the list!!) and then some start to roll their eyes and think I am some kind of fusspot. That is when I say I also have to take steroids - which usually shuts them up, because they think.... "steroids - so it must be serious!", which it is.

Ant, I had to laugh when I read this because I could have written it. It's the same speech I give, JoAnn

[Joefnh]

Ant it looks like I have some international travel coming up this summer, I think you may have posted a copy of your to the chef card, but I am unable to find it. Would it be possible to get a copy of this?

Thanks Ant

--Joe

[Joefnh]

Ant never mind, I found the copy in Gabes France postcard


--Joe

[Gabes-Apg]

Joe
highly recommend the revised version Ant posted in the past 2 days - with the what you can eat first
ie solve the problem for them and make it easy for them to prepare the meal.

and try and stick with 'english' speaking locations for your travel.

[Joefnh]

Thanks Gabes, I'm pretty sure English is the primary language spoken there, although with a bit of a nice accent.

--Joe