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I'm crazy about dogs - I have always had dogs and always will. I always get shelter dogs and it seems I attract animals that need medical care . . .it says SUCKER across my forehead.
We have always walked our son to school and continue on with our dog after we drop him off. Two and a half years ago when we were walking home from school two dogs, apparent strays who were malnourished and filthy, followed us home. I put them in our back yard and tried to find their owners. They had 2004 Louisiana vet tags but nothing else - called the number and got no response. I put signs up hoping to find the owners but no one responded. One of the dogs was very aggressive so we couldn't keep her and took her to the shelter. The other dog was soooooo sweet we decided we could keep her if we couldn't find her owners. We took her to the vet to get her checked out before we allowed her near our dog. She had heartworm. After just a few days I was smitten with this old dog (we thought maybe 10) that we decided to treat her for the heartworm and keep her. She has been a wonderful pet - we call her our Zen dog because of her calm nature. We also made her gluten free and she had some tremendous health benefits (no more arthritis in her legs and no more stinky/itchy skin).
Today I was walking my dogs and a woman stopped and said she was the owner of the dog we found. Sure enough she had all of the facts straight. She told us the dog was 14.5 years old and her name was Misty. That is so Twilight Zone because we called her Missie and thought it was strange how quickly she took to the name we gave her. She said they wouldn't try to take her back. I offered to let the family (5 children) see her and gave her my phone number. Ever since this happened this morning I have been filled with conflicted feelings. I really feel for this family and know how I would feel, but I also know they didn't take good care of her (no shots for 3-4 years based on her vet tag or heartworm prevention). I am a "things happen for a reason" person and I am trying to figure out why this happened.
What do you all think???
Mary Beth
Off topic . . . a dog lovers story
Moderators: Rosie, Stanz, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh
Wonderful story, Mary Beth.
Here's what I think: It was probably beneficial to the other family to have closure and know that she is well cared for. Maybe financial problems interfered with their being able to care for the dog. Apparently they aren't overly anxious to have her back. What was the dog's reaction to her former owner? And vice versa?
Love,
Polly
Here's what I think: It was probably beneficial to the other family to have closure and know that she is well cared for. Maybe financial problems interfered with their being able to care for the dog. Apparently they aren't overly anxious to have her back. What was the dog's reaction to her former owner? And vice versa?
Love,
Polly
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Polly,
The woman was obviously touched to see her and Missie responded but no more so than with anyone else - she is always affecionate. No whining, crying, jumping with excitement like you might expect. It might be different when she sees the kids.
I thought maybe closure as well. She said one of the children left the gate open and that's how they got out, so maybe that child needed to know she was OK. I don't think finances - when she told me where they live I think they probabaly had the means for vet care (although there are 5 kids, so who knows).
Anyway, knowing more about her makes me a bit sad. We had an entirely different story made up about her history - thought maybe she got displaced after Katrina since she had Louisiana tags. I am also sad that she is so old.
Sigh. I wish she could talk.
Mary Beth
The woman was obviously touched to see her and Missie responded but no more so than with anyone else - she is always affecionate. No whining, crying, jumping with excitement like you might expect. It might be different when she sees the kids.
I thought maybe closure as well. She said one of the children left the gate open and that's how they got out, so maybe that child needed to know she was OK. I don't think finances - when she told me where they live I think they probabaly had the means for vet care (although there are 5 kids, so who knows).
Anyway, knowing more about her makes me a bit sad. We had an entirely different story made up about her history - thought maybe she got displaced after Katrina since she had Louisiana tags. I am also sad that she is so old.
Sigh. I wish she could talk.
Mary Beth
Mary Beth, I think we have the same dog attraction thing. I've always had dogs in my life and can't imagine living without them. Over the years, I've had dogs show up in my life, too, and I think there is a reason for each one. All of our dogs have been rescued, found, or adopted from shelters. One of our dearest dogs was a mixed breed (we think part Newfoundland/Retriever) with a black furry coat. He looked a little like a bear and he loved to retrieve balls, rocks, and any object that could be thrown. We named him Tuck. He wandered into my classroom one day (I was in an outside building we call portables) when he was a pup. I was smitten immediately and hoped we would not find an owner. We made the effort and thankfully no one claimed him. He lived to be 15 years old and was a key partner in raising my boys. I was a cub scout leader during that time and he was always in the middle of every activity and in the Suburban when I took them home. He went on every family camping trip, slept in the boys room, and protected us from human and animal intruders. It was so hard to see him grow old and arthritic. It was a terrible loss to us when he died. We have a black lab and a golden retriever now. I'm sure your Missie came into your life for a reason. I would continue to love and enjoy every minute you have with her. JoAnn
Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway. John Wayne
What soulful eyes. She is so pretty. MB, I'll bet your intuition will tell you that Missie wishes to stay with you.
I am the same way about dogs and believe they are among the best beings on this planet. For dog lovers, a good read is "The Wolf in the Parlor". The author is a science writer (and an out-of-the-box thinker)............. I found it to be mesmerizing.
Love,
Polly
I am the same way about dogs and believe they are among the best beings on this planet. For dog lovers, a good read is "The Wolf in the Parlor". The author is a science writer (and an out-of-the-box thinker)............. I found it to be mesmerizing.
Love,
Polly
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Polly,
I am tuning into my intuition. When I explained the dilemma to my 10 year old he immediately said we should treat it like a divorce and that we could take turns with her - maybe he is on to something because that sentiment resonated with me. As a counselor I have had the great displeasure of working with families going through divorce and custody battles. Nothing is more disgusting than seeing two sides fight over a child like a piece of property, rather than recognizing there is enough love to go around for everyone and that peaceful solutions are in the child's best interest. I don't want to cause this family any more pain and I don't want to feel the pain of losing her. I haven't thought it through but my intuition tells me that I will keep her but they will be involved in some way.
Mary Beth
I am tuning into my intuition. When I explained the dilemma to my 10 year old he immediately said we should treat it like a divorce and that we could take turns with her - maybe he is on to something because that sentiment resonated with me. As a counselor I have had the great displeasure of working with families going through divorce and custody battles. Nothing is more disgusting than seeing two sides fight over a child like a piece of property, rather than recognizing there is enough love to go around for everyone and that peaceful solutions are in the child's best interest. I don't want to cause this family any more pain and I don't want to feel the pain of losing her. I haven't thought it through but my intuition tells me that I will keep her but they will be involved in some way.
Mary Beth
Hi Mary Beth,
Hummmmm … Looking at this dilemma from a little different perspective here:
Maybe the biggest concern here should be -- what is best for this dog at this point.
At a gestimated age on 14 ½ , realistically this dog is close to, or is approaching, end of life.
Her home -- where she has been loved, cared for, and secure -- for the past 5 years has been with you. Is there any really compelling reason here, to disrupt the stable security of her life -- at this stage of her life? All just because she once lived elsewhere ---- and to satisfy someone else’s ‘feelings’?
Remember, Dogs live in the present, not in the past. While the memory of earlier experiences is always stored in that tape-deck style recording of their life experiences, -- to this dog that prior existence is distant at best. If neither the smell of the hands – or - sound of the voice of this woman evoked any response in this dog, then she was not ever an important part of the dog’s earlier life.
Dogs live by a different set of rules than humans. Dogs know their family as “their pack”, and someone in that pack is always the functional leader of their pack --- in the dog’s eyes that is. A dog doesn’t have the capacity to understand the concept of sharing time equally between 2 packs. Your family is now this dog’s pack. One of you is her leader, and is the person with whom her comfort and confidence resides.
The temptation of Anthropomorphizing, which means that act of attributing human motivations and behavior to animals needs to be guarded against.
This situation presents an opportunity for some ‘teaching moments’ regarding whether human ‘feelings’ should always be of paramount consideration, or should there be other important considerations – such as this animal being able to live out her life in what has become her pack, home and comfort zone, all things considered here.
Best of Luck,
Gayle
Hummmmm … Looking at this dilemma from a little different perspective here:
Maybe the biggest concern here should be -- what is best for this dog at this point.
At a gestimated age on 14 ½ , realistically this dog is close to, or is approaching, end of life.
Her home -- where she has been loved, cared for, and secure -- for the past 5 years has been with you. Is there any really compelling reason here, to disrupt the stable security of her life -- at this stage of her life? All just because she once lived elsewhere ---- and to satisfy someone else’s ‘feelings’?
Remember, Dogs live in the present, not in the past. While the memory of earlier experiences is always stored in that tape-deck style recording of their life experiences, -- to this dog that prior existence is distant at best. If neither the smell of the hands – or - sound of the voice of this woman evoked any response in this dog, then she was not ever an important part of the dog’s earlier life.
Dogs live by a different set of rules than humans. Dogs know their family as “their pack”, and someone in that pack is always the functional leader of their pack --- in the dog’s eyes that is. A dog doesn’t have the capacity to understand the concept of sharing time equally between 2 packs. Your family is now this dog’s pack. One of you is her leader, and is the person with whom her comfort and confidence resides.
The temptation of Anthropomorphizing, which means that act of attributing human motivations and behavior to animals needs to be guarded against.
This situation presents an opportunity for some ‘teaching moments’ regarding whether human ‘feelings’ should always be of paramount consideration, or should there be other important considerations – such as this animal being able to live out her life in what has become her pack, home and comfort zone, all things considered here.
Best of Luck,
Gayle
Good insight, Gayle.
It's also probable that the other family has learned to live without her, just as we empty-nesters have learned to live without our children once they've left. Once the children return home for extended visits, we have to adjust our lifestyle to accomodate them and it's with mixed feelings that we say goodbye again.
Visitation sounds like the best solution. They are probably grateful that Missy has found a good home.
Gloria
It's also probable that the other family has learned to live without her, just as we empty-nesters have learned to live without our children once they've left. Once the children return home for extended visits, we have to adjust our lifestyle to accomodate them and it's with mixed feelings that we say goodbye again.
Visitation sounds like the best solution. They are probably grateful that Missy has found a good home.
Gloria
You never know what you can do until you have to do it.
Mary Beth, my computer is blocking the picture of your dog, 
so I'll have to wait until tomorrow at school to look at it.
Gayle, you sound like you are a fan of Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer, which I am, too. All the points you made are true. I've got a hyper lab that I wish he could give me some pointers on.
Another good read for dog/animal lovers is the series by James Herriott, All Creatures Great and Small. It's based on his life as a veterinarian in Yorkshire, England. They are joyful, wonderful stories about people and their animals.
JoAnn
so I'll have to wait until tomorrow at school to look at it. Gayle, you sound like you are a fan of Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer, which I am, too. All the points you made are true. I've got a hyper lab that I wish he could give me some pointers on.
Another good read for dog/animal lovers is the series by James Herriott, All Creatures Great and Small. It's based on his life as a veterinarian in Yorkshire, England. They are joyful, wonderful stories about people and their animals.
JoAnn
Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway. John Wayne
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Joefnh
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MB I would agree that your family is the current pack for her. She needs to be there and comfortable with her surroundings. A dogs health is linked to their emotional condition. We tend to underestimate the emotional dependencies of animals, but I have noticed over the years that especially with dogs that a large part of the physical health is there emotional stability.
Overall I would keep her, she clearly belongs there.
--Joe
Overall I would keep her, she clearly belongs there.
--Joe
Joe
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Gabes-Apg
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i agree with polly re the closure
allow a visitation and watch the reaction of missy, and most of all if you are calm and unstressed about it, missy will be fine. If you show hesitance or unsettlement she will pick up on that (but not fully understand the basis)
i do believe in conincidence and things happen for a reason - maybe the previous owners have carried guilt about what occured in the past with their misty.
most of all - do what you feel comfortable with, dont feel guilted into doing it.
allow a visitation and watch the reaction of missy, and most of all if you are calm and unstressed about it, missy will be fine. If you show hesitance or unsettlement she will pick up on that (but not fully understand the basis)
i do believe in conincidence and things happen for a reason - maybe the previous owners have carried guilt about what occured in the past with their misty.
most of all - do what you feel comfortable with, dont feel guilted into doing it.
Gabes Ryan
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama