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Another thing I had with carrots a week of two ago. I bought at a local shop (what was another nice surprise to see that they sell carrots) and when I opened the plastic back at home to scrape, wash and cook them, there was it. That delicious smell of carrots combined with an earth smell. The smell of the soil. I grew up on a farm with (of course) a vegetable garden. From than I know how fresh carrots smell. It’s a very simple thing, but great to experience.
And than after three months of struggling here, loneliness, being put up with my time not knowing what to do and feeling lost so often, things finally seems to be moving. Only since yesterday. The only thing I did was more or less giving up trying so hard making it work here. From now I have one week left before I will fly back to the Netherlands. So I thought well, just do your things you do now and for the rest making friends, finding a job, setting up other things here, do it during your second stay here. Since yesterday, all those small but so wonderful things seem to happen. A Dutch girl I have briefly been in touch with on the phone calls me to meet for coffee.
Besides that I seem to get to know one of my class mates to know a bit better. Something that just happened. This week we ended up both in the same café with free internet next to each other and just started to talk, why we were here, what we do during day time, how we like it here (or not sometimes), just a normal friendly talk but real contact (what I have been missing for so long).
Than I am going to have my first “connect for coffee” in Amman, I was doing the same in Groningen for the international residences there and had for a while the idea of doing something like that here. And yesterday I finally did it, picked a date, time and location, put it on website of two social groups in Amman and we will see who will so up.
And than, another contact I had ages ago (like two months) with somebody I talked to with his own business, extremely busy, I said then well, if you are so busy and I have so much time left, maybe I can help you out with things. After that silence. So I had already giving up on that. But to my surprise today, an email to send my CV and meet soon.
Also I finally seem to have found a new day ritmh, three days a week in morning I have Arabic classes and on the other mornings I go the gym.
But most important of all, is that I finally get the feeling of getting in touch again with my life energy, my inspiration, my motivation. The moment the MC started in May last year, I did not only got ill as all of us here, I also than seemed to have lost my appetite for life. Not that I was not doing anything, It what just the joy the pleasure was missing. I was hoping by coming here (Jordan) I would solve that.
Can you imagine how great the disappointment was, when I discovered that being on holiday was something totally different than living here. To realize how lonely a different country can ben and how difficult normal daily live can be.
I am even looking forward to go back to the Netherlands for a while, my own house, my own stuff, friends, family. I am a bit over the top when it comes to x-mas and decorating my house. A have a whole attic full with x-mas stuff. (like 20 boxes, no not joking). First I thought, no I am not going to decorate my house, too much fuss. But I totally changed my mind, Oh yes I am going to decorate my house like every year and oh yes we are going to have a x-mas party this year, like every year (except last year) at my place.
This is what I wanted to share with all of you. Have a great holiday season and bless you all. And thanks again for all your support here, for all my MC things, but also in your interest and support in my trip here. I really helped me and I appreciate it so much. Thank you all!!!
a big
for all of you
harma
