My grandmother died today

[Zizzle]

After a long struggle with congestive heart failure, a recent pulmonary embolism, and the subsequent decline probably brought on by blood thinners, my Abuelita in Guatemala took her last breaths this morning. My husband and I raced around trying to find flights, but they decided to hold the funeral tomorrow, so we won’t make it. It’s just as well, it would have been crazy to get down there on such short notice. (Can you say Instant D?) Now I need to find other ways to honor and remember her. She was my last grandparent, so my Dad reminded us that he and my mom are the “older generation” now. It's scary to think about caring for my parents as they age, especially when they are too far away for me to help them.

My grandmother was an extremely faithful person. She even founded a now major pentecostal church in Guatemala. I can only hope her beliefs were true and she's seated next to Jesus preparing to celebrate his birthday. But on this day of her death, I wonder what happens between those last breaths and her eventual journey "home". I listened to "I'll be home for Christmas" the other day on the radio and totally broke down, thinking about her upcoming journey.

I'm generally a private person when it comes to my emotions - I'd rather sit alone in a room (or my car) and cry by myself than be surrounded by well wishers, hugs and showings of emotional support. I'm not a big expresser of emotions either, even with my husband. I wonder if that contributes to the MC.

Anyway, I wanted to wish you all a happy holiday. I'll probably be experiencing the magic of the season through my kids, while crying from time to time on my own. I'll see my husband's sweet, ailing grandmother this weekend - she is the same age as my Abuela. I know I will break down when I see her and want to hold her forever.

Grandmas are special people. Many have lived turbulent lives in an era where women did not have all the freedoms we do now. If you have a grandma or great-grandma, make sure you honor her with all your heart this season.

If you are a Grandma, God bless you.

[tex]

Zizzle,

I'm very sorry to hear such sad news, of course. I agree that grandmothers are very special, and when we lose them, it leaves a huge hole in our life that is impossible to repair. A couple of decades have passed since I lost my grandmas, but I still miss them a lot.

As you probably know, we have a flower fund that can be used for such occasions, and we, (all the members of this board), would like to send you flowers, if possible. Of course, in order to do that, someone will have to know your address and a phone number, (for use by the delivery service in your city of residence). I can certainly understand, if you would rather remain anonymous, but if you're willing to accept deliver of the flowers, we would be honored to send them. If so, just PM me the information, and I'll personally guarantee that it won't be used for any other purpose. Or, if you would rather give that information directly to the member who actually takes care of the flower fund, (rather than to send it to me), just PM me and I'll give you her E-mail address.

Whatever you prefer to do is fine - please don't feel pressured either way. In the meantime, you have my deepest sympathy for the loss of someone so precious in your life. That was a beautiful post - thanks for sharing.

Tex

[Martha]

Dear Zizzle,

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Please accept my deepest condolences. For her as a Christian, it will be a great joy to be with her Lord and celebrate Christmas with him. You will grieve her loss, and it is natural and normal to grieve the loss of a loved one. Grandmas are indeed very special.

Please know that we all care for you, and wish you all the best.

Love,
Martha

[MBombardier]

Dear Zizzle,

I am very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. I am so glad that you have the consolation of knowing that your abuelita is in heaven celebrating with her Lord.

I never was close to my grandparents, though the last year or so of her life my paternal grandmother lived in a nursing home near my parents and me. I had not gone to visit her for three weeks before she died, and I felt very guilty about that. One night shortly after she died, I felt her presence as strongly as though she were there. I think that God allowed her to return in spirit for a few moments to assuage my guilt, although my husband thinks I am nuts.

My mother died of congestive heart failure. It was a long illness, just like your grandmother's. I did not talk to her the last 2-1/2 weeks before she died because she knew her mind was confused from the lack of oxygen and she refused to talk to me. Shortly after she died, I felt like she visited me to say good-bye as well.

I don't believe in ghosts haunting people--that's another subject entirely--but perhaps God will allow your abuelita to come say good-bye, knowing your great love for her.

[barbaranoela]

ZIZZLE----sorry to hear of grandmothers passing----

ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRANMOTHER IS your way of HONORING her~~~~~~~

luve Barbara

[Joefnh]

Hi Zizzle, my heart goes out to you and your family for your loss. Grandmas are certianly special people and I know I have fond memories of my grandparents and think of them often. Certainly it sounds as though Abuelita will live on in your memories for the special person she is.

May you remember the good times with Abuelita this season Zizzle. I will be thinking of you and your family

Best Wishes


--Joe

[Kari]

Zizzle,

So very sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing. I love the way you describe how you're coming to terms with it. You must have loved her a lot. Just remember that a part of her will always be a part of you - at least that's how I feel about dear ones I have lost. They are never really gone, but live on inside of me through my memories and in my dreams.

I was not fortunate to have met either of my grandmothers, as they were both gone at the time I was born - my mom was 43 when she had me. I try to make up for it by being a very "present" grandmother myself. My grandchildren are so very important to me, and I feel fortunate that I'm young enough to thoroughly enjoy them.

I wish you and your family a wonderful holiday - and don't hesitate to hug your hubby's grandmother real tight when you see her.....

Love,
Kari

[Jan]

Dear Zizzle,

I want to offer my condolences to you. I lost my grandparents many years ago and still have very fond memories of them. The hole in your heart will mend over time (and that is all that's going to make it better). You will honor her through your children this holiday season. I lost my Mom 3 years ago and still feel her absence, especially around this time of year. I am sure the good Lord welcomed her with open arms and she is preparing to celebrate the birth of his son. May you find some peace this holiday season.

Jan

[Gloria]

Dear Zizzle,

I'm so sorry to read about your abuelita. It sounds like you cherished her and looked up to her. I hope that you can remember your happy moments together. Make sure that your children know what a wonderful lady she was so that she can live on in their memories.

Gloria

[tcorbett]

Zizzle,

I am so sorry to hear of your grandmothers passing. Grandmothers are very special people. You are right - she is in a much better place with our Savior - she is pain free and do all that she hasn't been able to do - her mortal body is gone, but her spirit lives on forever! I totally believe that you can feel her presence near you - especially on special occasions. Hold tight to your wonderful memories of her.

If it helps, when my mom died last Thanksgiving, we gathered up old and new photos of her and made a photo CD - such a wonderful blessing and memory. We also lost a daughter/stepdaughter 3 yrs ago - on her birthday and at Christmas especially (her fav holiday) - we cook up her favorite treats or meals! It is such a fun way to remember her! What we also started as a family tradition, we donate a toy/gift to someone in need in her memory - she loved children, she loved giving - we keep a memento of each gift in a special stocking for her - it's nice to see it filling a little more each year! I am sorry to have gone on and on - I just know what has helped us - keeping those wonderful memories alive helps keep our loved ones close to our heart!

I know how hard it can be to not have them there to hug - give your husband's grandmother a great big hug - you both will benefit from that!

Last of all - let those tears flow - whenever and wherever - it's best to get them out, stuffing them will only make your MC worse - trust me, I know! I don't like to let those feelings out in public, but in my car or when I'm home alone.... yup, those tears fly.

Take care of yourself - enjoy your Christmas with your sweet little ones and your family! Sending you hugs!!! You will be in my prayers!!!

Theresa

[MaggieRedwings]

Dear Zizzle,

So sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing and she and you are in my prayers. I, like Kari, never knew my grandmothers since they had both passed when I was born. My mother was 42 - very weird Kari - we are in the same boat.

Try to enjoy your Christmas and I agree that your grandmother will be enjoying her holiday with the Lord who we honor at this time of the year.

Love, Maggie

[JLH]

I am so sorry to hear the very sad news. My condolences to you and your family.

HUGS.

[Zizzle]

Thanks for all your kind wishes, everyone. I'm feeling better today. Just trying to find ways to honor and remember her. She was truly an angel on earth. She loved and forgave everyone, and had the strongest religious faith I have ever witnessed. I know she has joined a choir of angels or is seated beside the Father, preparing to celebrate Christmas with all the people she loved and lost over the years. I know she is in a better place, but that still doesn't fill the hole in my heart.

I'm getting updates about the wake yesterday and the funeral today. HUNDREDS of people came to the wake. Guatemalan tradition requires the family to stay there all night, welcoming people at all hours, then racing home to nap and prepare for the funeral. The funeral procession will cross the city of Quetzaltenango, her hometown. The extended family is pouring in. It's so wonderful. I think about how many elderly people here die in nursing homes or elsewhere with no one to honor or remember them. My Grandma is truly blessed.

[Linda in BC]

Dear Zizzle;

I have no words of wisdom, only know that I am sorry to hear of your Abuelita's passing. She must have been a wonderful woman, to be so honoured in her community, and I am sure there is consolation in that.



Linda