What's the dumbest thing someone has said to you?-for laughs

[Zizzle]

So I was about to go on a major rant about my holiday festivities so far, the fact that I can only eat about one of the 30 items prepared by by in-laws so far, etc. But rather than sit here starving and miserable, I'm trying to find some humour in it all. After all, this isn't life or death stuff, just annoyances. Norman even dropped by this morning, despite cheating and eating goat cheese last night.

So, here's the list of the dumbest things people have said to me over the holidays regarding my food intolerances. Please add your own and contribute to the good cheer!!

1. My MIL: What, you can't eat oatmeal? There's no gluten in it! [me: but it gets contaminted during the processing and storage]. Well you can't possibly be that sensitive. You could eat it and it's not like you'll end up in the hospital or anything.

2. FIL: Oh, no, you can't eat the cheese-stuffed olives? I'm sorry. Here, have some bread.

3. Next year we'll all be coming to your house for the holidays and you'll have to do all the baking and cooking. [Me: I can't wait to prepare a GF/DF holiday for everyone!]

4. What will happen if you eat that? [me: My stomach will start gurgling just like yours, I'll get bloated just like you are right now, I'll spend half the morning in the bathroom just like you do every day, and I'll be miserable with IBS-like symptoms tomorrow, just like you will. Aren't you lucky you don't have food intolerances?]

5. As the massive assortment of gourmet homemade holiday party food is being laid out: I'm sorry there is nothing you can eat here. Can I make something for you? Maybe a chicken breast with lemon pepper?

[MBombardier]

Oh, Zizzle, that's hilarious! I like what your father-in-law said the best. And your interior thoughts (especially #4), oh, wouldn't we all like to say that sometimes??

Thanks for the laugh!!

[Bifcus16]

Actually, I did prepare a GF/DF christmas for everyone.

The only gluten products my visitors ate were the breakfast cereals they brought with them and a small loaf of bread with lunch - although they ate just as much of my GF bread. The only dairy they had was with their cereal or in tea or coffee and a little cream for the pud (which was barely used).

Fussy boots brother didn't complain about any of it - his first choice for seconds on the salads was my black bean pasta salad. Yup - spaghetti made from 100% black beans - looks like squid ink but good taste and texture.

Dad was very quick to accept an offer to take home some of the left over pudding, so I know it was good. Served with a brandy and golden syrup sauce.

When offered a choice of all the sweet stuff for a last morning tea, brother and dad both instantly opted for my homemade chocolate icecream - based on chocolate soy milk, with added extra choc and chopped cherries. So that was clearly acceptable. (figured out how to do it with rice milk now - maybe next time)

Dad was also hunting around for more lemon 'butter' in tiny meringue cases, so I figure that was also a success.

Have another think about doing the GF/DF meal next year. With enough choices they don't even realise what's missing.

Lyn

[Gabes-Apg]

lyn
that is wonderful wonderful news that a) your icecream worked out and b) that christmas 'lyn style' went well!

hope you and DH are well and the puss cats survived all the visitors.

take care

[Foxnhound8]

When I first had the out of control D, before I was diagnosed, my DH said "Really, you can't hold it until you get to the bathroom???? I told you you should have done more Kegel exercises after the kids were born!"

Foxnhound8

[MBombardier]

Foxy, it is so hard when those who should love us most seem to understand the least.