Concern for My Neighbor

[Gloria]

My neighbor's husband died from colon cancer last Thursday. She has pretty serious MS and is living alone now. Her husband was 60 and she just turned 60. She has two children in the area who stay in touch with her, but she's had seizures, one as recently as October.

She called me today and we talked for quite a while. We haven't gotten to know each other very well because I worked for so many years. This was the longest conversation I've ever had with her. I let her do most of the talking because it was clear that she needed to talk. My heart goes out to her.

She mentioned that she's lost 60 lbs. since last summer and her weight is now 160 lbs. She said her PCP has referred her to a GI, who is going to perform a colonoscopy and endoscopy on Tuesday because of her weight loss. I asked her if she's had a colonoscopy recently, and she said she did after her husband was Dx'd with colon cancer in 2006.

I didn't say anything, but I'm bothered that the GI is so quick to do a colonoscopy/endoscopy given that she's been under stress this whole time, dealing with a dying spouse. She says she has no appetite. Small wonder!

I'm aware of the forums suggesting that there is a relationship between gluten and MS. I wanted to mention it, but it's not the right time. She has no idea that I have MC. I alluded to a problem with my digestion and my loss of weight, but that's all.

I'm interested in your thoughts and would ask if you could keep her in your prayers.

Gloria

[Joefnh]

Wow Gloria, your neighbor has had a rough time. You certainly have been a good friend for her and I'm sure she is glad to have you as a neighbor. I would say be there for her as she goes through the colonoscopy ( If she has the procedure) and if a Dx of MC or other IBD is given you certainly will be in a position to help counsel her. I most certainly will keep her in my thoughts and prayers.

You know its stories like this that put MC into perspective.. yeah its a rough disease to deal with... but there are far worse.

Thanks for sharing this with us Gloria

--Joe

[klhale]

Well, I would say she probably needs a colonoscopy. You cannot jump to conclusions about your friends tummy. It could be anything...maybe a twisted colon or blockage? or, maybe she has developed Colon cancer. Just follow up with her after her test and then maybe you can give her support.

Take care,
karen

[jme22]

I'm with Karen on this one. Sounds like your neighbor needs to be screened for GI issues given her weight loss and complicating health issues. She may also just need the peace of mind that a (hopefully) clean colonoscopy/endoscopy could provide given that she just lost a loved one to colon cancer. That in and of itself could be a stress relief for her.

Sounds like you did exactly the right thing; supportive listening and empathy. If you feel it's appropriate then perhaps in time you could suggest a support group for those who have recently lost a spouse. Although support groups aren't for everybody, my dad found it helpful after my mom passed very unexpectedly a few years back.

Keep us posted and know she'll be in my prayers,

Julie

[mbeezie]

Gloria,

Dr. Cordain's research has centered around MS, so he implicates all grains, not just gluten. Maybe you could share with her about your health struggles and how giving up grains has helped you. Of course she is under so much stress no that the thought of radically changing her diet will go in one ear and out the other, so you may need to wait until she is in a better place emotionally.

Mary Beth