A Change of Heart

MBombardier · Post by **MBombardier** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 7:36 pm

I was going to entitle this post "bowing to the inevitable" but I decided that wasn't really a good title. Something changed yesterday, and I figured out that I finally accept what is going on in my health, and I am ready to do what it takes to work toward remission. I suspect that I have given the impression that I was at the acceptance stage already, and I thought I was. But I realized today that I was actually just doing what I needed to in order to get by, and sort of thinking in the back of my mind that this was going to go away, that I just had to wait for it.

I don't know what changed yesterday, what made me finally give up. I am a stubborn woman, I know. But I am so much happier today, at peace with myself, my condition, and the changes that I will have to make, and the patience it will take to see hopefully see remission someday. I am even--dare I say it--looking forward to the adventure?

I know there will still be days when I will be frustrated and discouraged, but as I said in the title, there has been a change of heart. Acceptance. It's a good place to be.

Joefnh · Post by **Joefnh** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 7:41 pm

Marliss what a great post and realization on your part.

I have found that I have gone through a couple of phases of acceptance. There are days where another layer of acceptance seems to be realized. Every so often I find myself still questioning in the back of my mind if these dietary intolerances are real. Usually in just a few seconds I remember how bad I felt when I did have any of those foods, that usually answers those questions pretty quickly.

Its great that you have brought this up, I thought I was the only one who felt this way.

Take care

--Joe

Post by **tex** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:45 pm

Marliss,

Excellent! Excellent! Excellent! Great post!

Joe is quite correct - you're not the first person to have second thoughts after initially accepting a diagnosis. The whole aura of mystery that surrounds this disease and all of it's satellite issues, is so poorly understood by the medical community, and so confusing to anyone caught up in it, that in a sense, it sometimes seems like a miracle that any of us can bring ourselves to actually accept it for what it is, decide on a treatment plan, and move on.

We have to, though, if we are ever going to bring it under control, so good for you.

With your attitude, you will definitely prevail.

Tex

MBombardier · Post by **MBombardier** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 11:45 pm

Thanks, you guys.

You are very sweet. You are both so encouraging and such cheerleaders that I know that much of what you each have said has been instrumental in my change of heart. Please don't ever stop or give up, because you both are helping people, whether you ever see it or not!!

Especially you, Tex. I think a lot about how you are working long hours and dealing with your health issues, and then you administer the board and come on here and patiently explain, and debunk, and encourage, and educate... thank you for all you do.

Polly · Post by **Polly** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 11:52 pm

Love,

Polly

starfire · Post by **starfire** » Fri Mar 18, 2011 6:05 am

I'm happy for you, Marliss. I think you have taken a big, important step.

Love, Shirley

hoosier1 · Post by **hoosier1** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:10 am

Marliss,

Welcome to the acceptance club! As everyone on this board knows, I fought acceptance tooth and nail. But I came to grips with it a few months ago. But that doesn't mean I will ever give up the fight in looking for the best ways to manage my problem as it relates to me personally. And you shouldn't give up either.

I continue to learn so much about my body with the help of this board, my own experimentation (admitedly, sometimes stupid things), and with the help of some good physicians and my wife who has been awesome. I am 80 percent certain I will bring a level of comfort and control back to my life that is reasonable for me. I sense you will too.

Hang in there, dear. We are all thinking about you (and praying for you). My prayer for you today is to simply have peace, calm, and wisdom (this wisdom is to help you chart your course to better health).

Rich

P.S. Agree with the comment about Tex. He must be part cyborg because I don't know where he finds the energy to stay abreast of the latest information as well as finding the time to respond to all of our posts.

MBombardier · Post by **MBombardier** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:33 am

Thanks, Rich!

You are one of the bravest people I know, taking care of business the way you do, and not allowing your disease or your pain to stop you from fulfilling your responsibilities. And on top of it all, you take time to think of others and be compassionate and caring. I think about you a lot, and pray that you will find answers and relief!!

hoosier1 · Post by **hoosier1** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:43 am

Marliss,

You are giving me a big head :), but I do appreciate the kind note.

Trust me, I am not brave. I am pretty much a wimp (just look at my earlier posts where I whined incessantly). I just don't really have a choice but to push through this the best I can. I also have clients who I cannot let down and a family to support (just like the rest of us).

I appreciate your prayers! I rely on you and the others on this board to prop me up quite a bit. And when I see so many suffering worse than me, I step back and think "what am I complaining about"? In the end, that is one of my best medicines, just keeping things in perspective (which also helps to manage my stress).

At IU yesterday, I bumped into two people who said they would pray for me, out of the blue. I guess that's better than them damming me to hell :) Perhaps there was some divine intervention yesterday? I prayed that my doctor would be wise and would spend as much time as needed with me. Both of those prayers were indeed answered.

We all have our crosses to bear, and we Potty People know ours only too well. Others who take their GI for granted would not consider this a cross, but if their systems went haywire on them, they too would feel the weight of this disease.

Will be thinking about you, Marliss. You will find your balance. Of that, I am truly confident.

Rich

ant · Post by **ant** » Sun Mar 20, 2011 11:32 am

I don't know what changed yesterday, what made me finally give up. I am a stubborn woman, I know. But I am so much happier today, at peace with myself, my condition, and the changes that I will have to make, and the patience it will take to see hopefully see remission someday. I am even--dare I say it--looking forward to the adventure?

Thank you. I love your attitude,

Best, ant

MBombardier · Post by **MBombardier** » Sun Mar 20, 2011 1:05 pm

Thanks, Ant! I love your attitude, too. I got quite a chuckle out of your telling chefs who say that they cannot accommodate your food intolerances that they must not be very creative.

And you can have no idea how often I think about your motto "softly, softly, catchee monkey" and apply it to all sorts of situations. I've told others about it, too.

MaggieRedwings · Post by **MaggieRedwings** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 5:28 am

Morning Marliss,

I am so happy for you and I am sure you feel much more at peace now. It is surely a hard road for us but time and perserverence will pay off.

Love, Maggie

nancyl · Post by **nancyl** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 10:57 am

Hi Marliss,
I have to jump on the band wagon too. I thought I was reading my own thoughts. LOL I was doing so well, then ten days ago things started going south again. I also thought this was just going to go away on it's own, but now don't believe it is without some outside help. Thankfully, Joe has given me the name of his doctor, which is pretty close to me. I have decided to take the bull by the horns and not let the MC take over my life. It may take a while to get into a new doctor and get a protocol going, but at least it's a start. He has also given me some over great information and avenues to try. I need to take my life back - I've got some traveling to plan and need to go back to enjoying retirement.

Good luck Marliss, thank you Joe.

Nancy