Church Today

dgshelton · Post by **dgshelton** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 12:48 pm

Well, I was able to attend church this morning. I haven't been for the last 3 months because the D was so bad in the mornings. It was bittersweet because I am Episcopalian and our whole service revolves around communion. I did not take communion because of the gluten. I got several strange looks as people walked by me on their way to the alter to take communion. It felt strange and really made me sad. My husband said that I could at least drink the wine, but unfortunately, many people (my husband included) prefer that the priest dip their bread in the wine instead if drinking from the cup, therefore contaminating the wine. My priest doesn't know what is going on with me yet, so after church she hugged me and asked if I needed to come talk to her. I think she and everyone else at church that don't really know me that well think that I didn't take communion because I felt unworthy. I am going to talk to my priest this week to explain what is going on. Maybe we can figure out a way to get gluten free communion bread and have someone whose hands haven't been contaminated from the regular bread give it to me. I hope we can figure something out because I was in tears when I left the church today.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Hugs,

nancyl · Post by **nancyl** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 1:32 pm

Hi Denise,
I am so happy that you were able to go to church today. I was wondering about the communion wafers. I am not GF, only DF, SF, and egg free. Do they have wafers that are gluten free? Where I go to church (Catholic), everyone in the church recieves; does that mean that everyone can tolerate gluten? It's funny that I was thinking about it at Mass last night, wondering what one would do. I mean it's only a wafer until it's blessed, right? So why not something gluten free especially for you?

Again, so happy you were feeling well enough to go.

Nancy

Gabes-Apg · Post by **Gabes-Apg** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 3:21 pm

Denise,

MC can be very alienating, especially in situations of large groups.

i think it is wonderful that it was the first time you were able to go in 3 months, that is a big achievement in the scope of when you are trying to get the D under control.

because we do feel unsettled and vulnerable as we are nervous about poop accidents, it is easy to feel more self concious when we are not able to do what others are doing

getting there today was a big step, as time goes on it will get easier.

take care

iceburg · Post by **iceburg** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 3:29 pm

The Lord himself knows all and sees all, under all circumstances he knows your heart! Thats important, not how others judge us and not how we judge ourselves. Symbolic rituals may help some feel closer to God, but I dont believe that a wafer brings you closer to Him and I dont believe illness takes away his love.
Feel wholesome in your being, you were created in his image, perfectly imperfect, compassion and not judgement brings us closer to the kingdom. God is love, unconditional love.

Carol

Deb · Post by **Deb** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:21 pm

Denise,
A friend of mine (who goes to my church) is celiac and got our church to implement gluten free wafers when necessary. I haven't tried them yet and have, so far, just taken the wine Last winter, however, I was visiting a gospel church and forgot...I took the wafer and the wine and didn't have any reactions (though I worried about it for several days.) Imagine that, me, a worrier! :)

sarkin · Post by **sarkin** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:50 pm

Denise,

I know you will find a way to experience communion. AND I am impressed that - even with the emotional sweetness and sadness of your return to church - you were smart enough to think not only about the host itself, and the cup, but also the *hands* as sources of cross-contamination.

When you get this sorted out, even if you wind up supplying your own cup and wafers (which I understand will need to be blessed as well as the gluten-y ones). I bet when you start this tradition, you'll find there are other grateful congregants.

I'm so glad you've returned to this meaningful part of your life. MC sometimes seems to hand us a lot of losses - but we keep showing it that it can take away the gluten (and who knows what else...), but not our hearts and spirits. Whatever that might mean for each of us.

I had a couple of social situations these past few days where there was nothing I could eat, and I would have loved to participate by tasting (as my husband said, "wow, look at that whole poison table for you!") I was fortunate that the nature of the occasion meant that no one noticed, but I still can imagine the situation you were in.

Big hugs - you are moving in a very graceful way, through hard obstacles, toward solving many things.

Love,
Sara

dgshelton · Post by **dgshelton** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:54 pm

Thank you, Nancy, Gabes, Iceburg and Deb! I know I need to focus on the good thing that happened today....I was able to attend church with n worries of the big D!

Iceberg - I agree that God's love is not found in a wafer or a sip of wine. I think my problem was that I grew up with these rituals in church and just felt really sad and left out sort of like a child that has celiac might feel at a birthday party where there is no gluten free cake for them.

Thanks again!

Hugs,

Gabes-Apg · Post by **Gabes-Apg** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 7:08 pm

It was the events of socialising and not being able to eat tempting food that was part of the drive for me to make cakes that were yummy and wanted by others even if they were Gluten, Dairy and Soy Free.

with each group event and each step towards having MC management blended in with your life outside the home, it will get easier...

it was only 12 - 14 months ago I used to be unsettled and have interupted sleep for a few nights before important all day meetings, that doesnt happen now, my management plan works 95% of the time, i am well enough to work and support myself. I have been able to change jobs, move to a new town and make friends without the MC being an issue at all

it is quite funny, i am known as the 'coathanger girl' by the partner of a new friend i have made through work, (i have given her some of my handmade padded coathangers) she was worried i would be offended, i said i much prefer being known as coathanger girl than the girl with a weird diet!!!

as you get comfortable with MC in your life, and get to know people, alot of them have a relative or a friend who is celiac and they have empathy for what we are doing. Wellness means more to me than what other people think of me.....

dgshelton · Post by **dgshelton** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 7:13 pm

Sara - You must have been typing at the same time I was. Thank you so much for the sweet message. I bet at your social situations, you felt a lot like the child with no birthday cake.

I am learning so much from all of the wonderful people here!

Hogs,

sarkin · Post by **sarkin** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 7:39 pm

Denise, I think we were typing at the same time - and I believe (along with you) that we get our rituals back as well. We will "break bread" with friends and family... but not bread as we knew it. And you will participate fully in the ritual of communion.

Great analogy about the GF kid at a birthday party

Interestingly one of the occasions I attended was a graduation recital for a very talented young singer - it was sooo not my party, and she did an incredible job with a very diverse and demanding repertoire, that it didn't bother me at all.

Believe me, at MY birthday/graduation/special-day party... there had better be some Sara-friendly food!

I'm going to cut short the tangent I feel myself heading down - I'm really proud of you, in a funny way (since we haven't even met!) that you're moving with such grace through this new diagnosis, and its implications in your life.

And - speaking of inspiration - Gabes, you're an inspiration ;)

xox/Sara

nancyl · Post by **nancyl** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 7:40 pm

I had my first encounter at a party where I couldn't eat. It was my grand daughter's shower/cocktail party. All I had to do was remind myself of what would happen and was able to keep myself busy just socializing with everyone. My daughter didn't even think, this is all so new and she felt so bad. I'll be all set at the wedding in two weeks. No worry there. I am fortunate that I am retired and at least don't have to think about going to work in the morning and try to plan things so I don't have to leave the house early. It's something that is always on your mind. I am just amazed at how all you ladies manage this while working. You are all truly amazing women.

Denise, I just googled gluten free communion wafers and there are a lot of companies that have them. EnerG for one. This is something that I think all churches are going to have to address eventually.

Like you Gabes. I want to WOW some people with a great cake. I am entertaining this Saturday and have a recipe in mind for an applesauce cake. I'm going to make a sample tomorrow and hope it's great. I won't tell them until I get reviews.

Nancy

Post by **tex** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 8:31 pm

Denise,

To the best of my knowledge, the Catholic Church is the only one with inflexible rules concerning communion. Most other denominations offer options for members with food sensitivities. You may find the articles at the following links useful. The first one even has recipes for making your own GF wafers.

http://www.livingwithout.com/news/glute ... 891-1.html

http://3riversepiscopal.blogspot.com/20 ... -free.html

Hugs,
Tex

Gloria · Post by **Gloria** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 8:45 pm

Denise,

I agree that going to church was a big step. You can pat yourself on the back for that accomplishment.

You may be interested in a thread we had a couple of years ago on the topic of communion:

http://www.perskyfarms.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=9807

Gloria

iceburg · Post by **iceburg** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 8:51 pm

"People with allergies and sensitivities feel left out in general," she observes. "They should never feel left out in church."

http://www.livingwithout.com/news/glute ... 891-1.html

Great find on the article, definately like to see all the viewpoints.

Carol

dgshelton · Post by **dgshelton** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 9:06 pm

Thank you, Tex and Gloria. My priest is really a very nice person. I don't think she knew why I wasn't attending church. She is new and was only there a couple of months, around the time my mother died, before she went on maternity leave. I have a feeling that she thought my absence had something to do with the death of my mom. She will probably be open to letting me bring my own bread. I'm going to sit down with her this week to discuss everything.

Thank you all for helping put things in perspective for me. I can vent to my husband, but he just can't empathize like you all can. I don't know what I would do without you all!

Hugs,

Church Today

Church Today

Denise

tex