Need help making hubby understand

[Linda in BC]

HI Zizzle;

Ow, that is tough one. Congrats on the norman though!



Perhaps you could show him a copy of Tex's well written post explaining why Dr.s don't know much about MC and people on this forum do...

Linda

[Gloria]

I've witnessed this pattern before in our 17 year relationship -- it won't last.

That may be your salvation. LOL

My husband tolerates, but doesn't actively support how I eat in order to manage my MC, though he will bring home articles on eating GF and he'll look for my specialty foods.

For the first two years, I tried manipulating my diet to match our normal eating habits; ie. replace wheat noodles in a casserole with rice noodles, make potato pancakes with potato flour, etc. When I went on the elimination diet, I told him that he'd have to forage for his own meals for the next two weeks while I ate a severely restricted diet. Two weeks have turned into eight months and we are still eating separate meals most of the time. He is free to eat what I eat, but most of the time he chooses to eat out or eat something different. We usually discuss what he will eat before he goes to work so that I know if I will be preparing a separate meal for him.

I know that you have two children and you can't just leave them to fend for themselves. I've often thought that my situation would be completely different if my children were still at home.

It sounds like your DH prepares meals sometimes. My husband used to prepare meals when I was working and it sometimes created problems. Now that we eat separate meals and I don't have to worry about adapting my meals so that he will enjoy them, I am doing better, though it took a long time to get to this point.

I would turn a deaf ear to his suggestions about what you should eat, visiting a doctor, etc. He's not dealing with the D; you are. My husband questions the value of my diet, but he has no solutions other than to take Imodium. After 42 years of marriage, he knows better than to push me into doing something against my better judgement. Each couple has to work through their differences their own way. You probably know the best method for dealing with your husband. However, I don't think you should compromise how you manage your MC in order to please him.

Gloria

[Zizzle]

My husband tolerates, but doesn't actively support how I eat in order to manage my MC, though he will bring home articles on eating GF and he'll look for my specialty foods.

I know that you have two children and you can't just leave them to fend for themselves. I've often thought that my situation would be completely different if my children were still at home.

My husband questions the value of my diet, but he has no solutions other than to take Imodium. After 42 years of marriage, he knows better than to push me into doing something against my better judgement.

Gloria,
Your husband sounds alot like mine, and you hit the nail on the head about the complexity of my situation--I have to feed my kids, and my spouse, then myself, sometimes in that order, and it sucks. I get home with the kids at 6:00, scramble to feed them dinner because they are starving, try to make something DH might enjoy (or at least not actively complain about), then wonder if DH will actually arrive before the kids go to bed to eat dinner. Sometimes he joins us, sometimes he doesn't, sometimes he doesn't call to let me know his status for dinner, so I often don't cook for him at all. Often he's OK with having to make his own dinner, sometimes he's vocally unhappy about it. I can't win. He's a great cook - much more gourmet and recipe oriented than me. That's why he usually does the weekend cooking --when there is time and he can banish the kids from the kitchen while he whips up some masterpiece. He's a chemist, I'm an artist. I can whip up a healthy dinner with whatever I can find, even if I haven't been to a grocery store in ages. It's much easier cooking for me and the kids, because they either tolerate my food or will eat foods that are simple to prepare. It's the gourmet-worthy, now low-cal, high fiber good for you meals that are killing me to make.

So we cooked together tonight. Nut-crusted dijon salmon, sweet potatoes and swiss chard, but we didn't eat as a family until 8:00 pm!! The fish he shared with the kids had his new lo-cal margarine in the sauce, mine had olive oil. We'll figure it out somehow.

[Pat]

The fact that you were having D and then followed your diet and are now having Normans speaks volumes! So happy for you that you have found a diet that really works! You are doing great and managing a family and husband. Congratulations! Print out Tex's first reply and give it to your dh, I think that says it all!

Pat