Just need to vent and support,

[Polly]

Hi there Kel!

WOW! Some days just feel as if the world is crashing in on us. Can't blame you a bit. And do I need to remind a psych major that we never need to feel embarrassed about our feelings? LOL! When you have been around here a bit longer, you will discover that EVERYONE has bad days and looks for support here.

I recall 2 very low days when I needed support. One was when I was driving home from letting my son off at the school bus stop and I had an accident in my pants in the car. Another was when I was having a particularly bad day - couldn't get out of the bathroom because of constant watery diarrhea, and my son was standing on the other side of the bathroom door continually making fart noises and laughing. NOW it's funny, but it wasn't then, I can tell you!

Some things that I tend to focus on that help me when I am having a bad day.....1) I tell myself that life is indeed painful but that suffering is "optional" 2) the serenity prayer - you know, the part about not worrying about those things we cannot control. You did everything you needed to do to get the paperwork in, but you can't do any more until you get their decision. So, no sense worrying until you get it. Easier said than done, I know. Sigh.
3) Increase my exercise routine. I'm sure you have seen the studies that show that vigorous exercise is just as effective in mild depression as SSRIs. 4) Talk back to myself. As soon as my obsessive mind starts running away with all of the "what ifs" and worst case scenarios, I sternly tell my mind to shut up - I actually picture turning off a little knob on my left brain. I have to do it over and over but eventually it works, especially if done in concert with long, slow, deep breaths. 5) Meditation/mindfulness. This works the best of all for me - just sitting quietly in the moment. It works best if you can do it regularly - even if only for 5 min. a day. It makes things much clearer and promotes creative problem solving IMHO. 6) Get a massage, if you can. 7) And of course, whine, rant and rave to trusted friends, just as you did.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do - just relating what works for me.
I hope things are looking up today.

Peace and

Polly

P.S. I have a stong hunch that all is going to work out in your favor. And my hunches are usually on target! Hang in there...............

[Kellyerin222]

Maggie: Good morning to you also and yes it seems that things are a little more positive today. Having a difficult time getting moving and when I walk you here "pop*crack" from my joints. It is not funny and I do ache, but had to laugh, so my sense of humor is still here. You are right-- just need to continue forward. Stopping is going to make no sense, nor is it productive. It is difficult, but I do feel I can do this. Again-- I am sorry I made you cry, not my intention at all! I guess it one was on those moments when the emotions were just too much and too strong and I really needed to bawl my head off, lol.

Polly: Thank you for your kind words and helpful hints. LOL about the psych major and being embarrassed. It is healthy to not hold your feelings and emotions in, with me particularly I "know" it is not healthy, but I tend to lean more towards the "I am independent-- I can do this" and because I am always the one people come to for support/ information/ help, it is difficult for me at times to ask for help myself. This stems way back to my childhood (long story there). My husband is really the one that knows "me" and has seem me cry and break down and crumble, but ironically there’s not a lot of other people who see that side of me. I can chalk it up to a little more type A personality, insecurity and needing to feel that I am in control, but truthfully I do realize this weakness in me and especially during this time I am trying to work on it consistently and realize that it is OK to ask for help from others and I do not always need to carry all of the weight on my back and deal with it alone.
You know I had to chuckle about your son standing outside the door making noises-- my son (10 yr old) has done the same thing! My voice gets sharp and firm and I am like "Kyle would you please stop that", now I can look back and laugh, but at that moment of heightened emotions it was far from funny, lol.
Thank you for the helpful hints. I am trying to incorporate more relaxing and just "me" things into my routine. I oil paint for leisure and just to relax, at times it is frustrating because my fingers hurt and that becomes a chore. I am a writer-- and often write poetry, prose and just paragraphs to release emotions. Thinking about picking up a good book on meditation and giving that a better go of it. One thing I have found especially helpful is music. Usually if I just turn on some music (make sure it is not depressing type) that can re-direct my central attention and be relaxing. Thank you again and things are looking a little more positive today-- just realizing this is a day by day, maybe even hour by hour thing, but I can do it and it greatly helps having others for support and this is a wonderful board!

[ErinD]

kelly,
I am glad you woke up feeling a bit better today after your *me* time and a good nights sleep!

As for the cracking of your bones, i am the same way and my daughter always makes a point of reminding me. she even asks me if i can 'make them crack' for her....ugh. But like you said outlook is everything and i woke up today myself with the thought that i am letting this disease take over my life and i just can't. I have to be strong and trudge ahead.

I hope you have a good rest of today. I am back to work and i already can't wait to go home!

[crranch]

Hoping that things are better for you today......hang in there, it will get better.

Carrie

[tex]

Kelly and Erin,

Speaking of bones "cracking and popping" - if you have TMJ, (temporomandibular joint), disorder, while reacting, as some of us do/did, your jaws will "pop" every time you close them, which can get to be rather aggravating after a while, at mealtime, especially to others within hearing distance. It can/will also restrict the degree to which you can open your mouth. Mine got so bad at one point, that I couldn't open my mouth wide enough to eat a sandwich, and I could barely eat soup - I had to line up the spoon just right, in order to get it through the narrow slit between my teeth. I remember actually wondering if I had lockjaw. LOL. It would come and go, but after a while on the GF diet, it never returned.

It's good to see that both of you are doing/feeling somewhat better today.

Tex