Medical training - Even the trained can't see out of the box

[Stanz]

I just got home from the funeral of a 48 year old Paramedic who unexpectedly died last week of arterial disease. He and my husband were ambulance partners and they are/were the same age. He was a medic for 27 years and had a heart of gold and was loved by all. I hate funerals, it is hard for me to get rid of the image of the dead, hard to remember how they looked alive. It was a beautiful service, full of pomp and ceremony by various fire dept. and ambulance company honor guards and included a piper. Imagine he'd have loved it all.

He hadn't been feeling well for quite awhile. He'd been working as the deputy coroner in the small town he lived in and was planning on being the coroner w/in 5 years and he'd been exposed to toxic fumes awhile back so he attributed his shortness of breath to that. He didn't have regular check-ups, but if they'd done a simple stress test he'd be alive today. His widowed Mom (who he called every day) and his son (who just got back from a tour in Iraq and looked totally devastated and blank) and his sister - who adored him, would still have him in their lives.

I remember when I was finally dx with lead poisoning after self dx and then hair testing after over 10 years of feeling ill. While I was getting chelation treatment for it, I was at my dentists office and was talking to my dearly loved dentist. I asked him about mercury and if this had been a problem for him after 35 years as a dentist. I was there to remove my amalgam fillings because my mercury levels were rising during chelation. He said: "Yeah, my lungs are full of this stuff, when I had my last chest X-ray it was everywhere." I asked him - does that not worry you? He just laughed - said he felt fine. He looks on the edge of death.

Our Paramedic friend looked 70 years old in his casket today. How he could not have known he was sick is beyond us. So, I guess those of us here are the curious ones, the ones who try to find answers and don't trust unconditionally and maybe that's the only reason we are still alive.

I just listened to the last message he left on our answering machine - 3 days before he died - still joking and irreverent. So sad.

[Gabes-Apg]

i am a bit gobsmacked... not sure what to write, the funeral would have been quite intense emotionally

i suppose their laybacked attitude to their own health stems from the thought and that they see people that are sicker than them and they feel their issues are minor.

most dont appreciate 'good health' until they are sick.

[JLH]

I'm so sorry to hear the very sad story of your DH's partner. He was way too young.

Frankly, I stay far away from an open casket. That's just me.

My sincere condolences.

[Stanz]

Joan, I am with you on that and that included both of my parents. It is not how I wanted to see them in my dreams and I have real problems there. I only saw him today peripherally, enough to see that his hair was all white and he had aged so dramatically since I last saw him. I did not lock onto a view of him and still see him as the crazy full of life guy I knew. My DH is of a different ilk, having been a paramedic and seeing so much already, he spent quite a bit of time with him and was quite shaken by it. I dropped him off at his work after the funeral, I imagine we will have quite a conversation about it tonight.

i suppose their laybacked attitude to their own health stems from the thought and that they see people that are sicker than them and they feel their issues are minor.

I'm sure you're right here, Gabes, and I imagine that translates to most of our own doctors, which is the point I was trying to make. I just wish our doctors curiosity for science and learning didn't end when they begin "practicing" medicine, as it surely seems to do.

Maybe it would be beneficial for all humanity if those who really want to know and learn and heal, and who show a history and aptitude for learning and studying and research, were given an education that didn't indebt them to the point that they are ultimately "owned" by their loans and the drug companies in order to do what they are driven to do.

I know endless people who pursued a law degree simply because of the $ and who were so disenfranchised by what they were required to do on a daily basis that they couldn't do it anymore. I wonder how many doctors are just screaming for freedom to actually do and learn and heal and can't.

[Gabes-Apg]

I was 13 years old and was at my fathers beside when he died. It was peaceful. i have battled for the past 27 years to remember him healthy and alive. i have lots of pictures of him around my house, prior to him getting cancer to help with this.

I dont think i could do open casket funeral and thankfully in australia it is not done.

i always tell people that there is no right way or wrong way to grieve, there is your way. And put your energy into remembering them well and happy, and make that the image in your mind when you think of them.

And connie, this applies to dogs as well, i remember them running and playing.

take care

[Stanz]

I have threatened all my loved ones with endless haunting should they ever put my lifeless body on display. I imagine there are some who find it therapeutic, I do not. Just fry me and scatter my ashes where I've chosen them to be scattered, who wants to see me dead? I am a very alive person who has been a rebel all my life and I'd prefer to be remembered as the person I was.

Gabes: would truly be joining Mick, probably grabbing a chicken breast off the grill and just daring you to try to take it back.

[Gabes-Apg]

I am similar, i am even guessing that with my medical history that the only people that would want my organs are those that would want to disect them so ditto - fry me and scatter my ashes near the ocean