Transform your Relationship to your Problems

[Gabes-Apg]

this is just a slightly modified retype from 'dont sweat the small stuff'
i have been doing quite a bit of inward reflecting these past months, it was during this time i realised the immune system and inflammation issues are 'fact of life', they exist and quite possibly i cant make them go away.


Transform your relationship to your problems

obstacles and problems are a part of life, true happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and to learn. Perhaps the most basic principle of spiritual life is that our problems are the best places to practice keeping our hearts open.

certainly some problems need to be solved. many others however, are problems we create for ourselves by struggling to make our life different than it actually is. Inner peace is accomplished by understanding and accepting the inevitable contradictions of life - the pain and pleasure, joy and sorry, births and deaths. Problems can teach us to be gracious, humble and patient.

in the buddist tradition, difficulties are considered to be so important to a life of growth and peace that a tibetan prayer actually asks for them, it says 'grant that i may be given appropriate difficulties and suffering on this journey so that my heart may be truly awakened and my practice of liberation and universal compassion may be truly fulfilled" it is felt that when life is too easy, there are fewer opportunities for genuine growth.

I wouldnt go so far to recommend that you seek out problems (or create them) Spend less time running away from problems and/or trying to rid yourself of them - spend more time accepting problems as an inevitable, natural even important part of life - you will soon discover that life can be more of a dance and less of a battle.

this philosophy of acceptance is the root of going with the flow, living in the moment

[Kari]

Hi Gabes - couldn't agree more with your post and LOVE the picture - thanks for such a beautiful statement. It reminds me of one of my favorite sayings:

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass,
It's about dancing in the rain."

Love,
Kari

[Martha]

Thanks for that reflection. We tend to want to fix our problems, or in the case of a disease, have the doctors fix it, and when it can't be fixed, it's hard to accept. So it's a good reminder that we need to learn how to live our lives as they are.

Love,
Martha

[JFR]

For me acceptance is key. It It does not mean giving up but it does minimize my frustration when nothing seems to be working. It helps me to be patient and to live my life day to day rather than put it on hold until things get better. Things really began changing for me when instead of thinking "why me?" which is what I used to think a lot, I began to think "why not me?" Of course I have my moments, but I seem to always be able to find my way back to acceptance of what is. I haven't always been this way, that's for sure. I like equanimity a whole lot better than anger.

Jean

[marihabs]

very thoughtfully composed, beautifully written and a gorgeous picture to inspire as well.

i love it

[Gabes-Apg]

Thanks-
i took the picture Easter/Passover/Spring break weekend here in Aus. i have taken a few sunrise photos from this same lookout that is about 5 mins from my house, until that day I had never seen the valley filled with mist and cloud like that... i was gobsmacked when i first saw it! captivated.

[Sheila]

Beautifully thought out. Thank you.

An old friend recently blurted out that I have been so unlucky. I told her that, on the contrary, every moment of my life is the sum total of all prior moments. Every single thing that happened left a mark, a change in me, and is responsible for making me who I am today. Life is full of loss and how we handle loss either diminshes us or makes us stronger. We can't change the past but we can shape our future by our attitude.

Sheila W

[Lesley]

Nice thread, Gabes. That is generally my attitude to life, learned way too late, but better late, WAAAY better late than never. Obviously I slip. Clearly I lose sight of it more often than not. Especially nowadays, when I have been sick for so long, with no end in sight.
However, I have been through worse than this, and have come through it ONLY by surrendering. When I first heard that idea it didn't make sense to me at all. I had to do battle with it for a couple of years until I learned what it meant.

Jean, about 10 years ago a friend of mine became ill with non Hodgkins lymphoma. He went through treatments, reached remission, and stayed there for 2 years. Then the cancer came back he was asked if he ever thought "why me?". His answer was "why not me?" just as you said. He died less than a year later. His attitude helped his wife come to terms with his death, and move forward with her life, celebrating the years she had him.
I learned a lot from my friends.

[Leah]

The low fog in this picture looks like what we have here in San Francisco. .... except it wouldn't be a sunrise, it would be a sunset :) Thanks for the thoughts.

Leah

[Polly]

Gabes,

Thank you so much for sharing your breath-taking photo and inspirational thoughts.

Love and peace,

Polly

[carolm]

HI All,
Along those same lines, I was driving home yesterday and the radio station I was listening to was interviewing a former NFL player who has written a book about his and his wife's journey through the a career threatening injury for him and breast cancer for her.
He said they were driving home after receiving her diagnosis when it all hit him. He began hitting the steering wheel and the dashboard in an effort to express his anger and frustration. He looked at his wife beside him... and she was looking at him with a disgusted look on her face. He asked her 'what?". She said 'How dare you! How dare you act like that. With all the blessings we have been given, how dare you act like that just because something isn't going our way."

Maybe that fits some of us too. Certainly fits me, to have had many blessings that I should not complain when something doesn't go my way and I have to work through it.

Carol

[Deanna in CO]

You know, I don't believe in luck. Maybe it's unusual these days, but I believe in a sovereign God who plans everything for our ultimate good. Suffering isn't fun, and we certainly can't always see how something that causes suffering can be good, but I'm finding even through this disease that I am developing in ways I didn't even realize were weak. I'm learning to trust God to be good and to be faithful; I'm learning to be still and allow others to do for me when I can't do for myself; I'm learning to wait and not insist on instant results; I'm learning, as Lesley says, to surrender.

I find it's OK for me to ask the question, "Why me?," and when I do, the answer is, because the God of the universe, who loves me more than I can imagine, knows this exactly what I need to become the person I ought to be.

This is just where my thoughts are taking me as I go through - and hopefully grow through - this process. (Not that you won't hear me complaining too sometimes!)

Deanna

[hoosier1]

Gabes,

That is very appropriate for how I am feeling today.

Thanks for the post.

Rich